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Hello, dear readers of Valery Kharlamov’s blog! How to cultivate willpower in order not to succumb to momentary temptations and achieve your goals, stubbornly going towards them, despite obstacles and temptations? How to learn to control yourself and finally quit smoking, finish a boring project and stop eating before bed? This is what will be discussed in today’s article, because, despite the fact that the will is a component of character, everyone can influence it, making it stronger and stronger.
Characterization
A person with a strong will is distinguished by patience and endurance. He is able to persistently move towards a dream, even if it is difficult and painful for him. And even if the long-awaited goal does not loom ahead and nothing portends its fulfillment. He is confident in the correctness of his actions, in his philosophy of life and strictly adheres to his own rules, maintaining consistency for years. Therefore, strong-willed people are called stable and stubborn.
Due to the fact that he rarely listens to the opinions of others, it is sometimes impossible to convince him of something, a strong argument gives a chance for this, the only thing he will pay attention to. The character of a strong-willed person is distinguished by decisiveness and the ability to take risks, as well as a willingness to sacrifice his personal interests for the interests of the society in which he is located. That is why such people are often called heroes and monuments are erected in their honor, medals and certificates are issued.
If you have a desire to determine your level of willpower, you can take the test.
Methods
1.Marshmallow effect
Once upon a time, scientists conducted an experiment by locking small children in a room with a bunch of marshmallows, and forbade them to touch, promising a reward. So, the winners were those who managed to escape from the desired delicacy. They sang, played with each other and drew, completely forgetting about sweets. And as it turned out, when we start thinking about something forbidden, we will definitely break down. This is how the “marshmallow” effect appeared and the main secret of powerful willpower. Therefore, if you quit smoking, you should not take out a cigarette, convincing yourself that you are just looking, the best solution would be to switch your attention to something else, telling yourself that you will return to this issue later.
2. Keep promises
This is what distinguishes a strong person from the rest, because we understand that we can rely on him no matter what. It is better not to give a word if you are not sure that you can keep it. If circumstances have changed, be sure to warn in advance so that that person has the opportunity to seek help from other people, and not be left unexpectedly with nothing because of your cowardice to put it straight. See more here.
3. Discipline
Tempering the spirit begins with discipline, sometimes very tough. Make a schedule for yourself, go to bed, wake up at the same time, do sports every day and most importantly — in any case, do not give in to the desire to abandon everything. Overcome yourself, over time, you will experience pride in achievements. Make a plan of events for a couple of months ahead. Define the main and intermediate goals and remember, as soon as you stop controlling the process, the character will begin to weaken, and one day you will have to start again from the very beginning.
4. Try to get to know yourself better
At what moments do you stop, and what, on the contrary, stimulate you to continue achieving what you want? What are you afraid of?
5.Motivation
The most powerful way is the right motivation. If a person realizes that he will get what he wants in only one way, provided that he really wants it, he will be ready to endure hardships and wait as long as necessary, especially if he begins to notice that he is really getting closer to the goal. Check out the article «Top 10 ways to increase motivation when you don’t know what to do to increase it.»
6. Balance in assessing the consequences
All people react differently to failures and success; in principle, their further activities and quality of life depend on this. So, scientists came to the conclusion that if you maintain a balance, you can stay afloat for a very long time. I mean, when a winning finish looms ahead and you’re doing better than ever, don’t get too excited and relaxed. Change your train of thought a little so that you can see the reality and the pitfalls.
Yes, it is worth thinking about the possible difficulties and problems that may unexpectedly arise on your way. And accordingly, about the benefits and resources of what failure will bring, if the mood is terrible and victory is not expected. You know that sometimes the loser gets more than the winner, namely the experience that becomes useful and decisive in the future.
7.Daily victory
There are useful exercises aimed at daily victory over yourself. Make a list of avoidable and unpleasant things to do. Choose the easiest task to begin with and complete it, gradually moving on to the most difficult and uninteresting. Or set yourself a large-scale goal, determine the deadline for achieving it and begin to approach it every day through certain efforts. So you will feel inspiration, self-confidence and joy from the fact that you manage to know and improve yourself.
8. Fears
It is important to learn how to deal with your fears. Do you remember that a strong-willed person is able to take risks and challenge his phobias and experiences? And the only way to overcome fear is to meet it and see what is really behind it and is everything as terrible as the imagination draws and experience suggests? This is how the character is tempered, having taken the first step towards the unknown a couple of times, you will get used to the risk and become free, because you will have the opportunity to choose and do as you see fit, and not as before, run away, encountering anxiety, horror and confusion. You can look at this article, it describes different ways to deal with phobias, certainly one of them will suit you personally.
9. Order
Arrange a general cleaning in the office, apartment, even the car, if you have one. Order must surround you, and you must always know exactly where the right thing is at the moment. And you can know this if this thing has its own specific place, where you already unconsciously put it. It seems to be an unusual advice, but if you think about it, have you ever met a man with an iron character who, in turmoil and confusion, is trying to find something he needs, running from corner to corner and looking into all the lockers and crevices?
10. Bad habits
If you have any bad habit, you will have to make a choice whether to keep it or fight it. After all, it is impossible to strengthen the spirit in the presence of weakness, on the occasion of which you will constantly go. And if you decide to make yourself stronger, you will have to make a lot of effort to rise above the attraction that robs you of health, time, energy and freedom. But if you do, consider that you have won the most difficult battle — the battle with yourself. I want to remind you about the article about alcohol addiction, maybe someone will find it useful.
11 laziness
Laziness sometimes interferes with doing what is needed, which causes insecurity and low self-esteem, and subsequently the energy drops completely and the person generally loses control over his life, quite at the risk of falling into a deep depression. Declare a fight against laziness, yes, it is difficult, but it is necessary, first of all, for you, start doing it in small steps, and you will notice how the quality of life changes. You will learn about this in detail from this article, arm yourself with recommendations and go into battle.
Conclusion
And that’s all for today, dear readers! I wish you patience and fortitude in order to cope with all the difficulties that will arise on your way. And also inspiration so that you stay true to the idea of improvement, because, as Coco Chanel said, «Everything is in our hands, so we cannot put them down.»