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You are uncomfortable, you are tense, exhausted. You habitually pour a glass of wine or reach for chips. You shop online. Sit in front of the TV for hours or scroll through the news feed. You live like this for years. May be enough?
Nobody wants to feel uncomfortable. We skillfully suppress it, deny it, try to dull it. Under the guise of discomfort lies the fear of failure or rejection, criticism or imperfection. Too strong feelings frighten us, we are afraid that we will not be able to cope with them. But, drowning out emotions, we move away from ourselves. To live in harmony with yourself, you need to learn to accept your feelings. A few steps will help you do this.
1. Name what you feel
You don’t know where to start. You have moved away from the body and do not understand how you feel. Start to stop, calm down and listen to yourself. Pick one word that describes what you’re feeling: sad, hurt, or anxious. Analyze the sensations in the body, feel what is happening in each part of it. Signals can be tightness in the chest, tension in the shoulders, throbbing in the head.
2. Make time for feelings
It will take time to reconnect with emotions. Go somewhere where you feel safe, turn on pleasant music, go through old letters or photographs to help analyze memories. When they come flooding in, don’t hold back, weep or scream.
3. A tangle of emotions is normal
You may experience different feelings. One emotion can be replaced by another, this can lead to confusion. It’s worth being prepared.
4. Recognize the importance of feelings
We often convince ourselves: “It’s not so bad, I’m coping slowly. My problems are nonsense compared to what happens to others. It seems that feelings are not worthy to experience them. But by suppressing emotions, you are not helping anyone.
5. Don’t be influenced
Don’t let others influence how you feel. Accept your emotions, even if others say you shouldn’t feel them. Do you feel resentment, irritation, angry or worried? You are entitled to it.
6. Be curious
Ask yourself: Why do I feel this way? What caused such emotions? What do they mean to me?
7. Talk about feelings
Tell someone you trust about your pain. Choose someone who is able to listen carefully and empathize.
8. Learn to trust your feelings
When you “open the floodgates”, feelings can overwhelm you. Move in small steps. Instead of shrugging off, “I’m fine!”, listen to your feelings. Give it a few minutes a day and it will become a habit.
Source: PsychoCentral.