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Many of us, deep down, fear that we are taking our place undeservedly. We tell you what the “impostor syndrome” is and offer five tricks that help you feel more confident.
Imposter syndrome, as the disorder is called, doesn’t make it any less of a nuisance for many of us. Those who doubt their talents and merits may never show their full potential. In addition, they have higher levels of stress on average and are more likely to become depressed because they cannot enjoy their achievements.
The term “Imposter Syndrome” first appeared in the English-speaking scientific community in the 1970s and was used primarily to describe women. But subsequent studies have shown that this complex occurs with the same frequency in both men and women.
How to recognize him?
- Constant self-doubt. Any decision that the “imposter” makes, he immediately questions. Even with numerous proofs of the correctness of his choice before his eyes, he will still be tormented by the thought that it was necessary to do exactly the opposite.
- Successes are chance or luck. If something worked out, it is by no means the result of the efforts made – it is “just lucky”, “once a year the stick shoots”. The “Imposter” believes that it is impossible for something to work out well simply because he worked hard on it.
- Propensity for perfectionism. On the one hand – the fear of failure, on the other – a constant feeling of inadequacy (“I’m not as good as what I did”). Together, these two tendencies often lead to obsessive behavior. In constant attempts to keep up with the set level, people with impostor syndrome often work many times more than required: double-checking every little thing, dubiously preparing for any performances, and redoing everything that seems imperfect to them.
- Short memory. Only the last achievement is worth something. No matter how great the “imposter” was at his last job, if at least something goes wrong at the current one, it’s all his fault.
What to do?
After all, it is impossible to live with such a feeling all your life – sooner or later, constant anxiety will, if not drive anyone crazy, then, in any case, unsettle. So, five tricks for dealing with the “imposter” in yourself.
1. Cut off questionable thoughts
Thoughts such as “I have to do everything, and do it perfectly, because no one else can do it,” fuel not only our desire to achieve our goal at any cost, but also our fear of failure too.
Learn to catch yourself in such thoughts and cut them off; tell yourself, “That’s an exaggeration,” “That’s not true,” or even, “That doesn’t make sense at all.” Instead, remember often that we all make mistakes from time to time.
2. Remember your strengths
Accept that you have strengths. Just like the rest of the world’s population. Train yourself to accept gratitude with the words: “Thank you” or “Thank you,” and not “Yes, there’s nothing to talk about,” “Come on,” or “Ah, nonsense.”
3. Release the reins
At least a little. At least sometimes. Changing the way you think is good, but it may not be enough. Then it is worth changing the habitual way of life. Relax a little. Don’t worry about the little things.
Yes, it can be uncomfortable at first, but it’s a good way (especially if you do it regularly) to accustom yourself to the idea that the ideal is unattainable.
Instead of fanatically devoting yourself to your favorite work without a trace, try expanding your horizons a little. The easiest way to start teaching others what you already know is to teach master classes in your profession or, on the contrary, tell about it to those who still do not know anything.
Or start a page on the Internet, where you will talk about your profession. Helping others achieve their goals is a surefire way to remind yourself how much you’ve already accomplished.
5. Consult with a specialist
Imposter syndrome is one of the main reasons why perfectionists come to counseling. A professional psychologist can provide invaluable assistance in changing the way you think and behave. Therapy often helps to get rid of depression and anxiety and allows you to enjoy the fruits of your labors.
About the Author: Amy Morin is a clinical psychologist, resilience specialist, and author of 13 Things Strong Men Don’t Do.