“I want to live in order to think and suffer,” the hysteroid seeks suffering, because it draws attention to him. He revels in his suffering, not just paranoid: he strives with all his might to get rid of suffering and puts everyone on the ears to help him. To be delivered. And the hysteroid needs to be sympathized with and mess with him. Everyone likes to be coddled with, and does not like to be left in trouble. But the hysteroid literally bathes in his suffering and wants everyone around him to fuss.
Look, they say, how I suffer, I should be pitied.
The hysteroid seeks to arouse not only sympathy, but more pity. If there are not enough natural reasons for pity, the hysteroid will do something not carefully enough and cut itself, blood will appear, everyone will run around, and he will be in the spotlight. Aisha (Sugrobova) calls such cases “crossbows”.
And sometimes, in a fit of hysteria, it comes to demonstrative self-mutilation, cuts on the elbows, supposedly in order to open the veins; they get more often only to small vessels, but there is a lot of blood.
And now: look what you have brought me to, look how bad I am.
Hypothymes go to monks or to religious communities because they are looking for quiet sympathy, they want to be loved. And hysteroids crave loud sympathy: have pity on me, you see how I suffer.
The hysteroid involves everyone in its suffering.
For hysteroids, this is a cry for help. When a hysteroid swallows a dozen pills and lays out a dozen notes indicating where to look for her, it is she who tells everyone that she is abandoned, that everyone has abandoned her. And in my head: “Look how beautifully I will die, only then will you all understand who you have lost.” She thinks about how, remember, how it will look in a coffin. Yes, this is not a schizoid who can come to suicide because the scheme of the world in his head did not work out. And for a hysteroid, a suicide attempt means: “I actually want to live, but I can’t live like that.”
“About ten years ago, Literaturnaya Gazeta became interested in the issue of suicide, and I gave a short interview on the topic of the next world. I said that before the Last Judgment, the person himself judges himself. And it is irreversible, this court. It is also terrible, precisely because it is irreversible (after all, you can not calculate — swallow a pill more, and then the end). And who is the judge? My rampant ego. But even the death penalty is abolished, so that in the event of a judicial error there is no irreversibility. And here the person himself can make a «judicial» mistake in relation to himself. Here, after all, he is in one person and the defendant, and the victim, and the lawyer, and the prosecutor, and the executioner, and the judge … »
This is me talking to a person who decides to settle scores with himself. But those around him can also use this reasoning to dissuade him. After all, such a state will pass, and everything will begin to be seen, as most often happens, in a completely different light. And a person has no right to make a mistake here, just as a judge has no right to make a mistake.