Contents
Step 9: “A today without knowledge is a tomorrow without evolution”
The 88 rungs of happy people
In this chapter of “The 88 steps of happy people” I invite you to learn to act from love for what you want to happen
Sometimes I meet people who believe that I was born learned in almost every subject that I write or speak about, but this is uncertain for me as well as for other mortals. Therefore, not only was I not born learned, but as I usually emphasize in my lectures, I will always have much more to learn than to teach. Every year is an evolution for me, and I hope that process never stops.
However, last year’s may be a higher evolution than all other years — the other day I was joking with a friend that this book is teaching me much more than I teaching him. And in all that process of evolution, for which I give so much thanks, there is a question that may have marked one of the main turning points in my own personal growth. It is the question that gives its name to this Step: from where?
Raúl works as an engineer in a company that is in the process of internationalization, and whose future depends on winning a huge contract with a large multinational. The general director of the company is in charge of presenting the proposal that will determine whether or not the multinational signs such an important contract. Raúl, who is two ranks below the CEO, the day before the presentation, after asking his boss for permission, decides to send an email to the CEO encouraging him and detailing each of his strengths to raise his level of confidence . The letter raises the morale of the CEO, and as a result ends up making a brilliant presentation and winning the contract with the multinational, which also has an impact on improving conditions for all employees. His boss congratulates him on the letter. Would you say that Raúl’s action is commendable? Probably yes.
Now imagine that a piece of data is added to the equation. You have a coffee with Raúl, and he confesses that getting that presentation to go well was the last of his motivations and that the only reason he sent that letter was in order to make the CEO of the company like him better and with it manipulate him to get promoted and get his boss’s job, despite considering himself less prepared than his boss to do it. One hundred percent of his motivation was self-interest. Does that change things? Externally, no, since in both cases the director benefits from encouragement; but internally the difference is abysmal.
Why? Because of the question on which this Step focuses: “From where has it acted?”
There are two places “from where” to act, and surely you can guess them: from the “Black Bag” and from the “White Bag.”
Do you act out of fear of what you don’t want to happen or out of love for what does? Why do you want something bad to not happen or to cause something good? To seek only your own good or that of others? If he had sent the letter for the good of his CEO, the company and the employees, then Raúl’s motivation would come from his Bolsa Blanca, since he seeks his own interest but also the collective interest. If you send it exclusively for your own good even if your interests conflict with those of others, then your motivation starts from your Black Bag. The action is the same in both cases, but the motivation is radically different. The key is to pass each of your actions through this filter: Where do you act from?
Such a simple question and yet the impact it has had on many, including me, is monumental. When you help a friend from the exclusive interest (I am motivated only by my own good), then you give with the motivation to receive. When you help from the inclusive interest (my good motivates me in addition to the collective good), then you give to give. That you receive something in return is irrelevant, since what you receive does not enter your own equation.
—Anxo, but… what if my friend abuses me generosity?
(Attentive to the answer, because it was very difficult for me to understand it. Not finding the correct answer to that question is the main reason why people miss the value of this step). It is this: yes it is legitimate to walk away, but it is not legitimate to judge him as a person X (negative label). The withdrawal does not originate from your Black Bag, since walking away is your preference, and preferring is completely legitimate. But the judgment does come from your dark side, since it is made from the desire to label and demonize another person. You don’t want that. Your ego wants it.
“That guy just insulted you.” How can you respond to an insult with a smile?
Because within me there is not one source of motivation, but two: the one that asks me for war and the one that offers me peace. And I choose to act from the second. How do you get up from Belt in the race to the Interior Success? There are three main ways. The first is porosmosis. If you want to get on a Belt, spend more time with people with a Belt higher than yours. Inner Success is very contagious. The second will be given to you by the Step that follows. And the third is asking yourself this question over and over again: Where does it act from?
Anxo Pérez, @anxo
In this chapter of “The 88 Steps of Happy People” I invite you to learn to recognize which actions vitiate your ego and which make you better.