Contents
Step 80: “Nothing that bothers you about others is the responsibility of others”
The 88 rungs of happy people
In this chapter of ‘The 88 steps of happy people’ I explain who is most responsible for your anger
He insulted me, and, as you understand … the most normal thing is that I get angry.
It provoked me, and it is logical that I go into a rage. It’s … the most normal.
He makes a competition to my business with which I do not agree, and … the most normal thing is that he wants what I want: that hers does not do well.
He always wants to contradict me at work meetings. The most normal thing is that I do not allow it (although that requires acting from anger).
He raised his voice to me, he interrupted me, she spoke badly of me, he disrespected me in public … and of course they provoke me anger. It’s … the most normal. It’s their fault for provoking me.
– Anxo, it is logical that he is altered. They have provoked me. Won’t you tell me that it’s not the most normal thing to do?
It depends on what you mean by normal. If we take it as a synonym for common, it is. If we take it as a synonym for convenient, then it is the opposite.
Ready for the biggest brick of the entire book?
It is your sole and exclusive responsibility … yours.
BOOM!
Have you heard the noise of the brick hitting the head?
I am sure that, for the vast majority, accepting that maxim is a radical paradigm shift, just like spending a lifetime digging a tunnel to one day discover that the exit was in the opposite direction to the one you dug.
It is normal that it bothers you that someone yells at you, but it is convenient that you do not stop working to reach the day when it does not affect you. It is normal that if someone insults you, it causes you anger, but it is convenient that you work towards the day when you expel them from your life.
Repeat to yourself and record these words in your mind: “Whatever action someone takes on the outside, the only one responsible for whether or not it causes anger inside me is me.”
– Anxo, what if it’s something serious like someone attacking me or destroying my car?
Even in that case, the responsibility remains with each one, the only thing that changes is that the challenge is greater, and the greater the challenge, the greater the journey to conquer it, with which, prepare to fail, but also not to give up.
– Interesting, Anxo … And how do you manage to stay calm when faced with a challenge like this?
Always in the same way, just as the shadow is removed: by applying a spotlight. In the case of the shadow, it is a source of light. In the case of rabies, it is a focus of attention. The more attention you pay to the existence of your anger (or your disturbance in general), the more you eliminate it. And the way to ignite that focus of attention in your being is by asking yourself questions that make you be more awake or aware regarding that anger: what makes you feel that anger? At what moment did it occur? Describe? Do you feel it often? What if instead of getting frustrated with it, you just look at it as if you were a spectator at a match, as something that is not yours? You don’t even have to come up with the solutions. The treasure is not in finding the answers, but in every minute you spend looking for them.
# 88StepsPeopleHappy
@Angel