Contents
Step 57: “Many gifts are not to satisfy the recipient, but the one who gives them”
The 88 rungs of happy people
In this chapter I explain why gratitude with others can be the best gift for yourself.
When they give you a compliment, you don’t have to bend over to tie your shoes, you don’t have to give a nervous laugh, you don’t have to seek to change the subject, you don’t have to compulsively return the compliment, you don’t have to make a joke, you don’t have to search a creative way to reject it, and you don’t have to say “not true.” You just have to do two things: smile and say thank you.
And when someone wants to do something for you that you know comes from a authentic desire to give you their help? Exactly the same.
But for some strange reason, most of us have a hard time receiving. In fact, it is easier for us to give than to receive. Actually, “strange” is rhetorical, since there is nothing strange about it. I will explain the reason by asking you the following question …
Do you love yourself enough? If you have no problem receiving, the answer may be yes. Since most of us have areas where we still struggle, the answer is no. When something prevents you from receiving freely, it is because there is a blockage. That blockage is a belief that deep down makes you feel unworthy of that gift that life is giving you in the form of help or compliment. But feeling undeserving is not loving yourself at all. Of course you are worthy! And to recognize it is to win another little battle with the ego, since the ego is the only one that benefits from you telling yourself otherwise. Therefore, learning to receive is learning to love yourself a little more. However, this is only one of the two benefits. It is the one that affects you directly. But there is the second, which is the one that directly affects the other.
Every gift that someone gives you arises from a love that someone has for you. Every time you don’t accept it with open arms, you are rejecting the gift. The brick is in understanding that to reject the gift is to reject the affection. Whether what is said is perceived as a gift or as nonsense depends not on how the other gives it, but on how you receive it. Why? Because the degree of enjoyment of it is proportional to the degree of enjoyment of yours. And this requires not only that you enjoy it, but also that he knows it. These are the words that will pass through his mind without him ever knowing (consciously). When he senses that you receive him well, he will say: “Giving that compliment was a good idea, and therefore I feel good.” When not, he will say just the opposite.
When someone wants to do something for you, give them the pleasure of giving. How? Granting you the pleasure of receiving.
# 88StepsPeopleHappy
“Many gifts are not to satisfy the recipient, but the one who gives them, and their importance is even greater”
@Angel