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Step 56: “The best way to eliminate judgment is not by not expressing it, it is by not feeling it”
The 88 rungs of happy people
In this chapter of “The 88 Steps of Happy People” I invite you to learn to eliminate a judgment from your mind and that of others
This Step will focus on one of the poisons that, on the one hand, is the most harmful, and on the other, the most taken. It is the poison of judgment: So and so is an X (negative adjective), So and so is an X (negative noun). They are derogatory labels that classify people. The poison starts from the following premise: every time we prosecute someone, we contaminate our soul.
If you remember some of the worst memories of your childhood, it is most likely that it was not when other children have insulted you or when someone may have even hit you. The most painful thing is that you have been emptied; being deliberately left out and feeling the anxiety of being left out, isolated. That is precisely the great harm of prosecution.
Create two groups, which are also confronted: the “us” and the “them.” And the worst thing is that the “they” is only made up of one person: you. But it doesn’t end there. Of course, the “we” represents the good guys. And you represent the bad guys. The division is not even moderate, it is polarized. The good are taken to the extreme of glorification, and the bad to the extreme of demonization. Of the two planes it creates, we are at the top and you are at the bottom. And all this leads to something terrible: dehumanization, since prosecuting you is synonymous with dehumanizing yourself.
What is dangerous and contradictory about prosecution is that produces from a higher plane which is completely untrue. Not one of the prosecutors is less a “sinner” than the accused. Only one authority is in a position to condemn, and only perfection grants authority. Conclusion, if we are all imperfect, no one is endowed with the authority to prosecute another. Why do we do it then? Because we are victims of this terrible bias: the greatest prejudice of the human being is judge others for their actions and themselves for their intentions. «Your action is reprehensible; my intention, justifiable ». Fake. And today is the day I ask you to raise your level of consciousness about this fact to banish judgment from your life.
People are not “bad people”, they are not “toxic” and none of their actions or ways of being gives you the right to subdue their dignity with phrases such as “I don’t like him” or “he is an unbearable person.” They are phrases that you should take the deliberate decision to ban your mind and today is the day to make that decision, since those phrases dehumanize. Imagine others using them against you to stop you feeling the pain that you would feel, as it is no different from what others feel. That same person that your mind has dehumanized may be the same person who puts their children to bed with all the love in the world tonight and is a hero to them.
– Anxo, then, do I have to give my time to all the people I don’t want to give it to?
Of course not. You have all the freedom and all the right in the world to decide which people to give more to and which to give less. That is called preference, and it is your sacred right. Someone does something that you dislike and you may prefer to get away from that person (but doing it from the White Bag, without inner agitation). The danger is when we turn a preference into a judgment. If you are going to condemn something, condemn the act, not the person. That will prevent you from dehumanizing it. Do you know what people around me have in common with high Inner Success? I’ve never listened to any of them pass judgment on anyone. You should make the same commitment.
Use this little trick from now on. Whenever you are with a group of people in a circle and someone from the group leaves, be the first to say something positive about him or her. That the first comment is positive, determines that the successive ones are also positive and vice versa. And you will see that with this you promote the elimination of judgment, and not only in your mind, but also in that of others. And don’t be afraid to take it one step further.
@Angel
# 88StepsPeopleHappy