Contents
Step 54: The three dimensions from which you face life: having, doing and being
The 88 Steps of Happy People
In this chapter of “The 88 Steps of Happy People” I explain how to learn to know how to “focus”
It is forbidden to continue reading without doing this exercise. You are going to be shocked with its results. (Obviously only if you take it seriously.)
Exercise. Write down your answers to this question here: if you had to list, without thinking, the three things that best define you, which ones would you choose?
If you have written them, you can continue reading. The exercise is explained at the end of the Step.
There are three dimensions or frequencies from which to face life: from having, from doing and from being. The dimension of having is typical of lower Belts; that of doing, of intermediate Belts; and that of being, of advanced Belts.
I acknowledge that I have never come to live in having, but also that for most of my life I have been unable to reach the dimension of being. He almost always lived from doing, of course without even knowing what that was. Today I am beginning to transcend doing and enter into being, but, of course, I still have a long way to go and… admitting it makes me light.
When you live in the have, your focus is on what you have and how to increase what you have. You live from fear, in a state of protection and away from the present, since the focus is on how not to lose what you have – normally material goods -, how to protect it and how to protect yourself; and you live in mental states like these: “I hope the future isn’t hard” (fear), since “I’m going to suffer a lot if I lose what I have today.” You mistakenly consider that your worries will disappear after reaching your ambitions, without realizing that, when you achieve your goals from having, you do not conquer the things that cause you uneasiness, but only replace them with others. What is the underlying fear? I need to have more … so I don’t feel less.
When you live in doing, you learn that the accumulation of material goods beyond the basics is a minor variable in your equation of the happiness. So, where is the problem? In which you replace having with doing. You equate doing with a sense of outer success that… likes. Feeling productive gives pleasure. Spending hours in the office and being able to justify it with “I generate value” gives pleasure. Feeling validated because “yesterday I did a lot” and “today I slept little” gives pleasure. When you live from doing, you occupy yourself. Much. You are a busy person, who stops little in the present, since you always have a “very important” mission to attend to in the future. What is the underlying fear? If I can’t do much, it’s because… I’m worth little.
When you reach being, you simply… are. You no longer have to have many things to not feel insecure, you no longer have to do much to feel validated, you no longer have to impress anyone, since being is perfect as it is. When you simply are, you can conquer the impatience, since you live in the present, and this allows you to control your fears, since they all start from the past and are projected into the future, that is, everything that is not present. Only the being can enjoy the here and now; And, in doing so, the rush, the anguish, the need to do to demonstrate and to have to not be left behind are eliminated. When you live from simply being, you begin to eliminate suffering and achieve peace.
Ready for the answers to the exercise?
Discuss these sample responses.
«I define myself as a person who has managed to have many properties for the good of his family. In fact, I aspire to leave a flat as an inheritance for each of my children ». All the answers that you have given along this line are answers from having.
“I am proud to have created a successful company, to have studied hard and to have worked and fought to make myself a person of benefit.” These kinds of answers come from doing.
“I define myself as a person who is easygoing, calm, in a good mood and who likes to spend time with his family and friends very much.” These kinds of responses come from within.
Go back and give each of your answers a score. Zero points if it is an answer that arises from having.
One point yes arises from doing. Three points if it arises from being. And add up your points. If your total equals zero, marry this book and read it over and over again until you feel that you are evolving and that your answer scores are approaching the upper limit: the maximum nine points. I recommend that you do this test with the people around you and observe their scores and compare them with how much light they transmit to you. You will see that both are perfectly correlated: high score = lots of light.
# 88StepsPeopleHappy
@Angel