Contents
Step 42: “If you put a cross on each person who offends you, you will turn your life into a cemetery”
The 88 rungs of happy people
In this chapter of “The 88 Steps of Happy People” I explain how to eliminate victimhood from your life
Do you know people with these types of tendencies ?:
– Fail an exam and consider that it is because the teacher does not like him.
– Her husband asks her to have one night a month to meet his friends, and she concludes that if she wanted her, she would not ask for something like that.
– His grandchildren tell him that this weekend they will not be able to go to see him because they have a competition and he concludes that they are selfish. “Giving them gifts every Christmas for this,” he laments.
– Her parents ask her to run an errand, and she rebels defensively: “Why does everyone always ask me for everything?”
– Your boss has been praising you all year and the day he tells you that your report is invalid, he gets angry, exclaiming: “They always tell me that I do everything wrong.”
He or she suffers, despairs and concludes that everyone is against him and does not understand why. But I can give it to you. Do you know what happens to him? That he has contracted the “plague.” The plague of which I speak is the disease of victimhood. He has lost himself. You have entered a loop where, on a scale of zero to ten, the validity of the rest of the world’s position is zero and yours is twenty. When you get that plague and you go into “victim mode” all the pores of your skin are closed, and nothing can penetrate it. The smallest comment that is not perceived as one hundred percent in your favor, automatically perceives it as one hundred percent against you. If you know someone with these symptoms, recite this Step for them.
These are the points to keep in mind to eliminate the plague of victimhood:
1. What is the first step to winning the battle against alcohol? Recognizing that you are an alcoholic. What is the first step to winning the battle against victimhood? Recognizing that you are a victimizer. This is, therefore, the starting point in your task. Until this is achieved, everything else is meaningless. How to get it? Keep reading.
2. Do not seek, convince him. He seeks that the one who convinces himself is himself. To do this, take each of the things that you would like to say to him and understand that they are affirmations, and that therefore, they can be taken as orders. Order equals attack, and …
How to remedy it? Very easy. Change your statements to questions (next point).
3. Sit down with the person who suffers from victimhood and ask him a large number of questions of this type: from 0 to 5, how much hobby would you say the teacher (or your boss) has for you? from 0 to 5, how common do you think it is for your family to agree to oppose you? Then write down all his answers, add up the points, and show him how unbalanced he is.
4. Explain that even if he was right, the way to attract flies is not using lemons, but honey. If your friends make you empty, the solution is not to complain. It is seducing them (with the best and most honest version of yourself).
5. Focus your questions on finding the hidden benefit of that victimhood. Maybe someone hates being mistreated, but loves running to tell about it. So deep down, when it happens, you don’t enjoy the first, but you do enjoy the second, so you might not want to put an end to it.
6. And finally, if your victimhood leads you to push people away from your life, becoming more and more isolated, tell him that you believe a lot in the following sentence and that you invite him to paint it on his bathroom mirror.
# 88StepsPeopleHappy
“If you put a cross on each person who offends you, you will turn your life into a cemetery”
@Angel