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Step 37: “Do not focus on improving the person you plan to be, but on who you are”
The 88 rungs of happy people
In this chapter of “The 88 steps of happy people” I explain how to stop acting from fear, and do it from trust
Do you want to live a life of slavery? You only have to do one thing: create your own character.
– What does it mean to believe my own character?
Selling success: «I have believed the A side of the coin, that is, the good side, and that is what I strive to project. The B, that is, the bad one, is the one that I try to hide ».
Martina is a model. She has won international beauty pageants. People see her as the perfect woman. She has believed the character and now has to live up to the creature that perhaps others have created, but that she has believed. And what happens now? A minefield has been created. Every time a pimple breaks out on her face, she gains weight, or wrinkles appear, her mine will go “BOOM!” And she will suffer.
Solution?
Not believing his character:
I am perfect with all my imperfections. I don’t have to measure up to anything. Whether or not people see me as the most beautiful person in the world is none of my business. If I don’t get on the pedestal they have put me on, then no one and nothing can ever get off it. I am not a character, but a person. I am human. I am someone who is going to have wrinkles, who at some point will gain weight … and that does not represent me less than the other. I’m everything. And the day I get a pimple, I will look at myself in the mirror, I will observe it and I will smile saying: that is me too and therefore… I love her.
Good for Martina! His character has transcended. He just got off Belt!
Eusebio is a successful lawyer. She has a prestigious job, a fabulous marriage, a dream home and a car that many would like. He has the perfect life, or at least that is what he has managed to make everyone around him believe, since he proudly walks like a successful person, speaks and behaves like a successful person, and invests large amounts of money in an external image that shows that you are a successful person.
What happens the day you lose your job or your marriage falls apart? That the usual pain of this type of loss is multiplied by ten, since he does not have to face only the small pain that the person suffers, but the immense suffering that the character experiences, since he is completely annihilated. That is the danger of living as a character rather than as a person.
– Yes, Anxo, but I am neither an international model nor a successful lawyer.
You don’t need to be at that level to be exposed to your character. We all are, regardless of the level at which we move. When you don’t ask for help because everyone considers you a tough guy, that’s your character. When you don’t want your coworkers to know that you have a disease because “let’s see what they will think,” that’s your character. When you want your neighbors not to know that you are having an argument with your daughter, that is your character. When you post photos on social media that only project success, that’s your character. When you don’t want the townspeople to see you crying in a cemetery, that’s your character.
Understands this: whenever you defend a character, you act from fear. And when you pull the thread, you will see that the origin is always the same: fear of not being valued. How is the character removed? Always loving the person. Have unconditional love for yourself. When you detect a vulnerability in yourself, look in the mirror and say to yourself: I love myself (unconditionally!). If you can truly love yourself, then you will no longer be afraid of anyone knowing that information.
Imagine being bathed in plaster and covered in gold and jewels. Everyone comes to worship the statue made of gold and precious materials. You are unhappy to live in a statue, but happy because you think they adore you. One day you break the plaster and free yourself of the statue. Hundreds of people no longer come to adore you, but you don’t miss it. Now less people value you, but you are happy (really), because instead of worshiping you for the character, that is, the gold from outside, they value you for your person, that is, the gold that you carry inside.
# 88StepsPeopleHappy
Don’t focus on improving the person you plan to be. Focus on improving the person that you really are.
@Angel