Contents
Step 36: How easy acceptance seems when it is confused with passivity and how difficult when it is not
The 88 rungs of happy people
In this chapter of “The 88 Steps of Happy People” I clarify a couple of main issues that could lead to confusion
One of the biggest dangers when writing about Interior Success is that, every time I defend that something is not one way, the reader erroneously goes to the opposite extreme. That is why this step is going to focus on clarifying those couple of main issues that could lead to confusion, and explaining not only what I mean by them, but also what I don’t.
Don’t confuse judgments with data
-Anxo, if someone doesn’t have money, and I say he’s poor … if he’s out of tune when singing, and I say he’s not a singer …, if he doesn’t relate to anyone, and I say he’s an introvert, am I judging?
To say that someone is a bad person is a judgment. Saying that you have no money, if true, is a fact. The first is not only open to interpretation, but that interpretation does not concern us, since entering to interpret is to enter to judge. The second, as long as you have reliable information, is a piece of information
objective (and therefore not open to interpretation). What is really important is not even the type of information, but the spirit in which it is said. All judgment said without malicious intent it ceases to be, and all data said with malicious intent becomes judgment. The key is in the question on Step 9. From where has it been said?
Don’t confuse acceptance with preference
-Anxo, in a previous Step you said that toxic people do not exist, that it is not correct to label anyone that way, and that we must work to learn to accept the way of being of each one because we all act from ignorance in some moment, that is, perfectly in line with our Belt of inner evolution. Does that mean that I have to have a friendly relationship with everyone?
Of course not. That is the difference between acceptance and preference. Accepting someone who is acting nasty doesn’t mean you have to spend time with him or her. Of course you can choose not have a friendship or spend time with that person and that’s perfectly legitimate. You can accept everyone, but choose to spend more time with one part.
Do not confuse not judging with encouraging
-Anxo, then, if someone commits a destructive act and I cannot say that they are a bad person, would you not be encouraging them to repeat it?
No. There is a fact that is not debatable. Everything that goes against life is destructive and everything that works for life is constructive. Every time someone seeks to choose the path that destroys life, it is wise to use all the means that we have at our disposal to avoid it. The past is accepted, but work is done to prevent the future. Therefore not judging does not mean not recognizing that an act is against lifeBut rather recognize it and act to avoid it.
# The88StepsofHappyPeople
@Angel