Contents
Step 30: “The eight keys of magnetic people”
The 88 rungs of happy people
In this chapter of “The 88 steps of happy people” I invite you to understand the eight characteristics of these people that attract you like a magnet
Do you know people who you would say are magical? That question is rhetorical, since I already know that the answer is “yes.” The important one is this: Would they say it about you? The answer depends on your level of magnetism. If it is tall, they will say yes. Otherwise, they will say no. Here are the eight keys at the communicative level to be a magnetic person.
1. Don’t speak categorically
“Real Madrid is the best team in the world.” (Wrong)
“Real Madrid may be one of the best teams in the world.” (Well)
2. Give the benefit of the doubt
I once made this mistake with my secretary:
Angel: Eva, yesterday I asked you for a report for today and that you send it to me first thing in the morning. You have not done it? (Wrong)
Eve: It’s in your mail. I don’t know if you’ve had a chance to look at it.
It was indeed there, and yet I was accusing her (indirectly) of not having sent it. Magnetism level on my part? Zero out of ten. The correct thing would have been that he had used this other communication:
Angel: Eva, yesterday I asked you for a report for today and that you send it to me first thing in the morning. Surely you have already done it and there has been some error that has prevented me from receiving it ». (Well)
If it has already passed it to me, I remain a gentleman. And if not, she will give me a solution, but without feeling accused. Magnetism level? Ten out of ten.
3. ¿It universal o local?
If it is universal, it is advice that can be applied to everyone. Example:
In Spain we must all drive on the right.
If it is local (personal), it is something that can be applied to me, but not for the whole universe:
Everyone must go to parties and meet people.
That is not universal advice. That is your preference. If you give that advice to an introvert, you create a dilemma for him. (This point is especially important for parents who confuse “personal preference” with “universal advice.”)
4. Avoid absolute words: always, everyone, never, nobody …
And use softening words, like “maybe”, “probably”, “maybe”, “maybe”, “in some cases” …
“I have never received any help from anyone.” (Wrong)
“I have probably received less help than many.” (Well)
“All adolescents today are rude, not like before, who were all respectful to adults.” (Wrong)
“It may be that now there are some adolescents with less manners and that before perhaps respect for adults was more valued.” (Well)
5. Use these three words: I, consider, that
When you do not use those three words, you will be running the risk of expressing something that is only your opinion and that this is taken as a decree of law, with all the rejection that this could cause.
Whenever you steal, you should go to jail. (Wrong)
“I think that, in some cases, if you steal you should go to jail.” (Well)
6. Adopt conciliatory language
Surely I have not explained myself well. What I asked for has not been done. Maybe I should have asked differently. I called you the other day, but you would be very busy. You must have encountered a lot of traffic.
7. Avoid megalomaniacal comments
“They work with us because we are the best.” (Wrong)
“They work with us because they have considered that we do not do things wrong.” (Well)
8. Eliminate sarcarm
My grandmother used to say: “If you are going to joke about me and it is so uncertain to say that I am the ugliest woman on earth as the most beautiful lady in the world, choose the latter. If it’s a joke, at least it feels good and not bad. Sarcasm never adds magnetism. It only subtracts it. Trade it for heartfelt compliments, and learn to say them to your face, bravely.
Taking care of these eight areas will allow you to ensure that when people leave your side, they feel a little better than you found them, and that is the greatest and most beautiful of powers; the power of magnetism.
Stick with this last lesson. Almost no one will tell you that one of your comments made them feel bad, but …
# 88StepsPeopleHappy
“The difficult thing is not knowing how to listen to what people say, but knowing how to hear what people are saying.”
@Angel