Contents
Step 21: “Do not seek to succeed, seek to learn”
The 88 rungs of happy people
In this chapter of «The 88 Steps of Happy People» I explain how to «deactivate» what endangers your interior
Anxo, all this stuff about the ego… is it really that important to fight it? What if I prefer to keep my ego happiness? The ego can give a lot of pleasure.
I will answer you with another question. If your backyard was full of mini-bombs, would you rather turn them on or off?
We all have a garden full of mini-bombs. Each one of those mini-bombs is each one of the ego’s tentacles. When that tentacle is about to conquer, it means that your bomb is activated: for example when the success of others bothers you (tentacle of envy), when you are afraid of what will happen in the future (tentacle of fear), when you feel a little superior to others (tentacle of pride). And when that tentacle is conquered, it means that the mini-bomb that represents it is deactivated. There was a message on the previous Step of colossal importance. It is the answer to why it is so important to control the ego: Because the greater the ego … the greater the suffering.
What happens when the number of active mini-pumps is very high? That the number of explosions is too! Do you harbor the mini-bomb of resentment? Every time you remember your friend’s betrayal, your explosive will go BOOM! And you will suffer. Do you harbor the mini-bomb of victimhood? Every time your child doesn’t come to see you or your friends don’t invite you to a party, your explosive will go BOOM! And you will suffer. Do you harbor the mini-bomb of envy? Every time your classmate beats you on an exam or your colleague gets recognized, your explosive will go BOOM! And you will suffer. If you want to defuse your bombs, it’s very easy: let go of the grudge (“I didn’t like what he did, but I don’t believe in resentment”), he turns off the voice of victimhood (“I love my son the same whether he comes to see me or not”), he eliminates envy (“I’m sure he will he deserves. I’m happy for him ”).
There was a time in my life when I met someone who (although I did not know it) had a lot of Inner Success, but little posture (simple clothes, constant smile, zero pretensions), seeing him so disbelieving and simple – it is In other words, what for the world would be someone who does not project success, I saw him as a weak person. And to the mighty, full of recognitions and triumphsPerhaps with a heavy hand, arrogant, serious, rigid and very convinced of how things have to be, I saw him as a strong person. And I discovered that it is just the other way around. He who is apparently weak and has a great inner balance has tamed his ego, and thus has his mini-bombs defused. That one is strong because he suffers little. He who is apparently strong and rigid and is far from taming his ego, has a huge field of bombs about to explode. That one is weak because he suffers a lot (and every day).
The vulnerability of one to explosions is low and that of the other is very high. In the morning, when each of them encounters an angry honking driver, the former remains unchanged because he has deactivated the mini-bomb of anger. The second restores the disturbance, becomes irritated and suffers (he had his mini-pump activated). In the afternoon, when they get a fine, the first he accepts it and acknowledges his mistakeas you have defused the mini-bomb of arrogance. The second confronts the traffic officer, the vein in his neck swells and his anger ruins his afternoon (his bomb has exploded). At night, when someone makes an inappropriate criticism, the first does not think about the reasons that could deny it, but about those that could confirm it, since his ego does not ask him to be right (bomb deactivated). The second takes it as the greatest of the attacks. His ego mini-bomb just exploded, and he… just suffered.
Only one thing makes you vulnerable to suffering: your ego.
Here are three closing maxims. If when reading them you feel that their lessons are something that you see yourself applying in your day to day, it will be an indication that you are taming your ego and deactivating your mini-bombs. Otherwise, it will be an indication that you still have a long way to go.
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“When stones are thrown at you, build bridges”
@Angel