Contents
Step 20: “If you don’t wish him well when you no longer have him, your love was just selfish”
The 88 rungs of happy people
In this chapter of “The 88 steps of happy people” I show you the way to be happy regardless of what happens outside
The most difficult subject is how get to be happy inside regardless of what happens on the outside.
– Is that really possible?
– If possible.
– Anxo, are you telling me that if life brings me an illness, I lose my job and suffer an accident, I can maintain my level of happiness?
Yes, but whether you get it or not depends on whether your Inner Success Belt is high or low. The greater the challenge, the greater your inner height should be.
– Because?
– Because a level 8 problem can only be managed with an Inner Success level of Belt 8, since you can only overcome the challenges that are of the same level. If you want to overcome major challenges, you will have to achieve higher levels of Inner Success.
– And how is that done?
– Always …, taming your ego.
Here are three examples that represent three of the straight more complicated within the subject more difficult:
1. You spend several years studying for a competitive examination for a job in public administration; when the day of the exam comes around, you get nervous and fail it.
2. Your partner leaves you.
3. And the most difficult, you lose a loved one.
I suppose that the first one seemed really hard to overcome, the second very complicated, and the third directly impossible. But I have news for you. Right now, at this precise moment, there are people on earth, many, who can achieve it, and also can do it while maintaining their inner peace.
This is the formula.
When you love with all your might that loved one or even the achievement of a goal, that desire or passion, let’s call it love, it can actually be of two types, the pure and unclean. Pure love represents the Genuine love. It is the one that comes from your essence. Impure love, which should not be called love, is selfish. It is the one that comes from your ego (egoic love). In the example of the couple it is where both are most evident. What happens when someone for whom you feel unconditional love leaves you?
You fervently wish their own good. What happens when someone for whom you had a conditional love leaves you? You go from loving that person to loathing or even hating them.
What then is the conclusion? If all love towards something or someone can be of two types: pure (unconditional, centered on the other) and impure (conditioned, centered on oneself), whenever your love for someone is impure or from the ego, this will be a love of servitude towards you: «I love you for what you give me, and the day you stop giving it to me, I stop loving you». Or even: “I need you” (that is, I need you for my own stability y welfare; so as not to face my fear of loneliness, etc.), “and if you get sick and disappear from my life, I will suffer.” Do you suffer for the person who is gone? Absolutely. That person is no longer having a bad time. The one who has a bad time is you. Therefore you do not suffer for her, but for yourself and for the unhealed fears with which you face the new situation. Who is making you suffer? Of course … your ego. When you learn to tame it more, you learn to suffer less. Become aware of your fears observing where you come from suffering, and you will see that it has nothing to do with who has left (he or she), but with who is still here (you).
I am aware that this is an advanced topic, for people with a lot of height and a lot of evolution (Belt 7 or Belt 8), but do not demand that level of yourself at the moment. Just by reflecting on this, as long as your mind doesn’t fight my words, you’ll already be defusing your mini-bombs (Next Step) or minefield and making your ego less vulnerable for the day life tests you. It seems implausible, but believe me it is true.
What if I fail in a target and I get angry? Was that also selfish love? Isn’t it normal to get angry if I fail my exams after years of study? ». Genuinely wanting to achieve that goal and working hard toward it is perfectly legitimate. But not accepting to fail in its achievement when you have done everything you have been able to do, that does come from the ego. You don’t accept the result and you don’t love yourself enough not to blame yourself for failure. And that’s what makes you suffer. Your ego says, “I have to achieve this however it is. And if I do not reach it, I will not accept it, I will not forgive myself and of course… I will suffer ».
Where does all the suffering come from? Always, always, always … from your ego.
# 88StepsPeopleHappy
“The acceptance it has the same power over suffering as a ray of light over a shadow. ‘
@Angel