Most couples who stay together for a long time go through five phases of a relationship. What are these periods of development of love, what mistakes do partners most often make in them, and how can this be avoided?
At what stage is your couple currently standing? Romanticism? Power struggle? Or maybe stability? Knowing about these stages and their features, you will be able to prepare and pass them successfully without getting stuck on one of them.
1. Romanticism
This stage characterizes an idealistic view of relationships. The message is: my partner is unique. Being at this stage, lovers usually do not pay attention to differences and seek to merge: “I can not live without you.” And therein lies one of the potential dangers.
Wisdom: the ability to see the beauty of another person.
Mistake: to think that a dream will come true, one has only to wish.
2. Fight for power
The onset of this stage is marked by the recognition of the unfortunate fact: “You are not the / not the one that I thought (a)” or “We are different.” This is inevitably followed by frustration and anger: “I will make you become what I want to see!” At the same stage, a battle of the sexes often occurs: “You are insensitive, like all men!” struggles with “You are hysterical, like all women!”
Wisdom: “I’m different, that’s okay.”
Mistake: to believe that we will get what we want by resorting to threats, violence or manipulation.
3. Stability
The stage of indulgence of partners. We give up pretensions and tolerate the weaknesses of the other. We recognize ourselves and love for who we are. Conflicts lead to development, not to suffering. Everyone pays attention to life outside the couple or to himself.
Wisdom: realism in love.
Mistake: avoid the unknown – “The world is hard to conquer, it’s not worth the risk, we’re good enough.”
4. A responsibility
We refuse to remake a partner and improve him. We look at relationships realistically and recognize that they are not perfect in everything. We are able to love another, although sometimes we do not like what he does. We love ourselves, but we don’t expect to be pleased every minute. It gives you the freedom to doubt yourself without getting into a power struggle. It also allows everyone to be responsible for their actions.
Wisdom: responsibility for what you do.
Mistake: calm down and stop caring about the relationship.
5. New association
At this stage, we often engage in creativity together – this is a common contribution to the Universe.
Wisdom: connections with other people. Desire to contribute to society. The development of spirituality.
Mistake: focus all attention on the outside world and forget to “nourish” love relationships.