For some parents, spanking is a common thing, for others it is an extremely dangerous thing. When we raise our hand against a child, is it child abuse or our helplessness? Where did the controversy about the official prohibition of physical influence on children come from?
In 1979, Sweden became the first country to ban spanking a child at the legislative level. More than 50 countries followed suit. Other states have not yet come to a consensus.
This habit, passed down from generation to generation, the so-called «domestic educational violence», is fighting the French independent organization Fondation de France.
It turned out that more than 50% of parents start hitting their children even before they reach the age of two, guided by their own upbringing and considering spanking useful and justified.
In Russia, the situation is similar: most parents keep corporal punishment in their arsenal
According to family psychotherapist Ekaterina Zhornyak, in our society, physical aggression and violence remain the norm — often we do not even notice them, we perceive them as something natural.
Parents are embarrassed if a child cries in the street, but do not hesitate to publicly shout at him or spank him. And some famous people say that a child needs to be physically punished in order to raise a successful person.
Where is the border
A simple spank is still popular, but there is a huge gulf between a small slap that catches a child by surprise and interrupts the flow of whims and a regular, well-thought-out spanking. Well, a parent who spanks his child in the heat of the moment can be accused of child abuse?
According to Claude Almos, a psychoanalyst and specialist in child abuse, you need to define the concepts: “I have been dealing with this problem for many years. Of course, I don’t think spanking kids is a good parenting method. But at the same time, I don’t consider it a cruel parent who one day, being on edge, gives his child a slap.” He is convinced that children themselves are never wrong.
They distinguish the occasional «deserved» slap from the blows of an adult who recognizes only such a «method» of education.
Child psychoanalyst Philippe Jammet urges trust in parents, because «a slap may be preferable to psychological abuse that causes guilt in a child, or no response from an adult at all.»
But this argument is countered by therapist Gilles Lamisi, coordinator of the Fond de France campaign for children’s rights: “Any violence directed at our children can have consequences for their physical and psychological health. For the sake of the well-being of our children and our society, we must refuse any slaps, slaps, slaps in the face and, in general, any blows.
Olivier Morel, founder of the French Supervisory Committee for the Control of Domestic Violence, provides disturbing research data on the subject. So, according to an American survey by Murray Strauss, co-director of the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire, about 84% of Americans believe that spanking children is right, and almost 100% have done it at least once.
They punish children in this way, not just spontaneously, but believing that it is beneficial. In addition, his study showed that children between the ages of 2 and 4 years old who were not exposed to any physical influence had an average IQ of 5 points higher than those who received spanking.
far-reaching consequences
In the United States in 2004-2005, a nationwide population survey was conducted, in which more than 34 Americans over 20 years of age took part.
Among other things, participants answered questions about whether their parents or caregivers at least occasionally used physical abuse (spanking, pushing, slapping, etc.) in childhood in the absence of more extreme forms of emotional or physical abuse.
The current state of health of the survey participants was also recorded. Approximately 1300 people reported that they were subjected to such educational measures at least from time to time in their childhood.
Compared with those who avoided physical punishment, they were at increased risk of chronic diseases.
In particular, such people are 25% more likely to develop arthritis and 28% more likely to develop cardiovascular disease. In addition, among those who were spanked as children, there were more obese — about 31% versus 26% in the group who avoided physical punishment. The data were obtained taking into account socio-demographic differences and family histories of diseases.
As study lead author Tracey Afifi of the University of Manitoba, Canada, noted, while not every child will have such far-reaching consequences from a spanking, parents still need to keep in mind that this is likely.
According to a 2012 study, light corporal punishment, such as spanking, can increase the risk of mental and behavioral disorders and cause problems with alcohol and drugs.
According to the Children’s Rights Foundation, when the body is unable to escape violence and protect itself, as is the case with children who are subjected to corporal punishment, stress hormones become toxic and attack the digestive system and neurons.
Another argument from those who struggle with spanking: a child cannot bear the thought that his parents hurt him.
In such a situation, he tells himself that he is being beaten for his own good, because he is to blame. It is a mentally devastating feeling with long lasting consequences.
“Corporal punishment is humiliating,” emphasizes Ekaterina Zhornyak. — For example, a slap in the face is perceived as a humiliation in all world cultures.
In addition, by systematically receiving even an “innocent” slap on the bottom, the child comes to the conclusion that it is normal to hit people. He becomes aggressive (or depressed) and his relationship with his parents deteriorates.”