Soft skills: 10 books for developing empathy and communication skills

Today, specialists with developed “soft skills”, or soft skills, are especially successful. Together with LitRes, Trends has chosen books that will teach you to be empathic and find a common language with anyone

Empathy effect. 7 Keys to Supernatural Insight by Helen Riess

Empathy is almost like a sixth sense or even mind reading, says Helen Riess, professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. In her book, she offers seven keys to help you find an approach to any person. You will be able to pump the ability to read the emotional state of people and learn how to skillfully use gestures, facial expressions, tone of voice in communication. In addition to scientific research, there was a place in the book for boring experiments and life stories.

“The power of kindness. How to use empathy to change the world for the better, Jamil Zaki

Neuropsychologist Jameel Zaki has spent more than a decade studying empathy and has come to the conclusion that anyone can develop this skill. Many people associate kindness with weakness, but the author seeks to refute this assumption. He is sure that in five years – and even in a year – the world can become angrier or kinder, and it depends only on us whether the social fabric will be torn or restored. Showing care and attention to those who treated us unfairly is difficult and illogical. But, succumbing to aggression and anger, we will only make things worse for ourselves. In the book, Zaki analyzes the history of neo-Nazis, the education system, the interaction of police with the civilian population, the field of nursing, and even the possibilities of digital technologies.

“Live in peace. The Art of Communication and Interaction, Tit Nhat Khan

Vietnamese monk Thit Nhat Khan has written over 100 books on Buddhism, meditation and mindfulness. One of them is “Live in Peace”. In it, the author says that people should be more attentive to everything they receive. According to Tit Nhat Khan, communication can be healthy and useful in the same way as food. So why not monitor the quality of the dialogue? It is important to notice with whom and how you interact, which communication seems toxic to you, and which is resourceful. Your inner state, opportunities for growth and development depend on the answers to these questions. The practices given in the book will help you hear yourself and build harmonious relationships with others.

“Jedi Techniques for Constructive Communication”, Alexander Orlov

Alexander Orlov, a business coach and co-founder of the Stratoplan school of managers, compiled a selection of useful communication tools that he uses. In the book, he shared algorithms that help solve problems with clients, superiors, and any interlocutors. The author ironically and clearly explains what habits prevent us from talking normally and spoil relationships with others. After reading the book, you will learn how to master the principles of constructive communication, and learn how to get out of conflict situations.

“Snakes in suits. How to recognize toxic colleagues in time and not suffer from their destructive actions, Robert Haer, Pavel Babyak

At work, we have almost no control over what kind of environment we have. Therefore, sometimes we are forced to work for years with aggressive or manipulative colleagues, managers and clients. How to deal with this situation, you will learn from the book “Snakes in suits …” Its authors are specialists in corporate and criminal psychology. By combining their professional skills, they have released a unique guide to dealing effectively and safely with office predators. This guide will help you recognize the destructive behavior of colleagues and find your own ways to protect yourself.

“Hear and Understand” by Michael Sorensen

If you learn to listen to the interlocutor, you can improve all areas of your life. Such simple advice formed the basis of a book by marketer Michael Sorensen. Being a tireless researcher and a fan of self-development, for several years he communicated with coaches, psychologists, leaders, and as a result decided to share his findings with the whole world. In his book, the author clearly talks about the basic need for acceptance and how validation – the skill of recognizing the emotions of the interlocutor – will help improve relationships. The reader will learn the role of empathy and emotional understanding, understand how validation differs from reflective listening, and master the step-by-step method of validation.

“The Psychology of Consent” by Robert Cialdini

It is difficult to imagine a situation in which the client is ready to pay the highest possible price even before the start of negotiations with the manager. But psychologist Robert Cialdini assures that this is not a marketing ploy, but a reality. He spent many years, like a secret agent, infiltrating the sales departments of large corporations and came to the conclusion that some specialists intuitively use techniques that help to achieve results even before switching to convictions: for example, they get the consent of the boss to raise their salary as soon as they enter his office . Cialdini spoke in more detail about the techniques used by such specialists in his new manual.

“Being human. Skills that only people have, not artificial intelligence, and how not to lose a job in the near future, Debra Stevens

What will you do when a robot takes over your workplace? Practicing coach Debra Stevens poses this question to her readers. Automation and artificial intelligence are already being introduced into various industries with might and main and perform their routine duties for people. But this book is not written for intimidation and gloomy warnings, it encourages you to think about career prospects and sets you up for self-development. The author proposes to improve only those skills and abilities that no one except people possesses: the ability to empathize, love, make friends, listen. Debra is confident that human qualities will never lose their value, but she views robotization from a positive side.

“Emotional triggers. How to understand what upsets, angers or scares you, and turn the reaction into a resource, David Richo

Everyone has sore topics, which means that at some point each of us runs the risk of losing our composure. Any unresolved problem and unprocessed trauma responds with a lightning-fast reaction to a trigger, which means “trigger” in English. Psychotherapist David Richo not only talks in detail about what triggers are and why they occur, but also shares tools to help deal with them. You will learn how to desensitize non-healing wounds, learn to refrain from rash acts, and be able to turn your weaknesses into strengths.

The Science of Communication, Vanessa van Edwards

A book by trainer Vanessa van Edwards will help even true introverts overcome communication difficulties. Here are a lot of simple and understandable life hacks you need to start a conversation, draw attention to yourself, count the emotions of the interlocutor and better understand the people around you. With these tools and behavioral tricks, you can build relationships with your loved one, move up the career ladder, and simply improve the quality of life.