The cadet is outraged by Major Payne’s actions, but answers his questions and does what the major wants. Major Payne knows how to ask questions and makes them answer them.
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This technique of effective communication has been known for a very long time and sounds like this: “To get a positive decision on an issue that is important to you, put it in third place, giving it two short, simple questions for the interlocutor, to which he will easily answer you “yes”. Preliminary questions should be short so as not to tire the interlocutor and not take up a lot of his time.
This approach is a business modification of the so-called Socratic method. Socrates, the philosopher of ancient Athens, whose dialogues were recorded by Plato, led the discussions in an unusual way, mainly by asking the interlocutor questions. Understanding the subject together with the interlocutor and asking friendly questions, each of which was usually followed by an affirmative answer, Socrates led the interlocutor to a more complete vision of the subject of discussion and conclusions that were initially not obvious to the interlocutor.
In the modern version of the Socratic method, you divide your thought into small links, and each one is submitted in the form of a question, which implies a short, simple and predictable answer. In fact, this is a reduced, well-organized dialogue with the interception of the initiative.
A modification of the Socratic method is the principle of three Yes, a variant where the questions are not even reasonable, but simply random, if only the interlocutor answers: “Yes!”. Interestingly, even in this version, the effect is still there.
The Socratic method prevents unnecessary disputes. When the interlocutor does not understand you, you want to explain to him, the intonations become more pressing and tense. But if you slip into a monologue and start pushing, chances are you will run into resistance and lose. A monologue, as a form of persuasion, is simple but ineffective. Dialogue is more difficult, but more productive.
As a rule, such an organized dialogue keeps the interlocutor’s attention, does not allow distraction; if something in your logical chain is unconvincing for the interlocutor, you will notice it in time; the interlocutor comes to the truth himself (albeit with your help).
Alex Yanovsky’s dialogue with a man who accused him of complicity with the devil. Leadership University project.
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Yes, organizing a conversation in the format of such a structured dialogue can be difficult: as a rule, you need to be well prepared in the topic, know in advance how the interlocutor can answer a particular question, but Perhaps the need to think through the conversation, to play in the voice of the possible reactions of the interlocutor — is also a plus of this method? The Socratic method is a really useful thing, and not only because your interlocutors will agree with you more often, but also because it makes you think for yourself (how to build your thought) and teaches you to take the initiative in your own hands.
Conversations with children built according to the Socratic method take a very long time and do not guarantee that they will lead to the desired result. However, unlike short parental instructions, such conversations teach children to think and help them understand their parents to a greater extent. For an example, see the article «The child asks for an XBOX.»
Illustrations
A young man, Volodya Ya., recorded the conversation he had with his mother. In this case, you should be interested not in the content, but in the form of the dialogue: a very peculiar version of the Socratic method:
“Mom, how old am I?”
— 23, son … What are you asking?
“Mom, do you think it’s time for me to get married?”
No, no, you’re early.
“That’s right, Mom, I agree with you. This is a serious matter, I still have to graduate from the institute, get on my feet. … Mom, what do you think, I live with women?
— … I don’t know, son, probably …
— Of course, I live. I am already a fully grown man. And I have a question for you: can I bring women to my house? I now have a favorite. As a wife, she hardly suits me, and it’s too early for me, but as a woman, I’m crazy about her. Mom, where should we meet? She doesn’t have the opportunity, with friends in apartments it’s not always possible. What, we are under the bushes, in the doorways, in unsanitary conditions? Mom, don’t you want me and the woman I love to get in trouble? Can I bring women to my house?
— Oh, son … But so that I don’t know anything about it.
— Good. Here, mom, are tickets for you and dad to the movie tonight. The movie is good, you will like it. Deal?
How to train the Socratic method?
Think about the logic of what you want to say. You have an idea, you want to convey it to the interlocutor. The first difficulty is that your thought is not always completely clear to you (yourself). To better understand your own thought, write it down, put it in writing. Recorded? Now in your text, highlight the theses, justifications for the theses and illustrations that make your thought more vivid and lively. When you do this, you will understand your thoughts and be able to better express your idea to the interlocutor.
Formulate your thesis in the form of questions. Everything you want to say, translate into the form of questions, each of which the interlocutor will have to answer in the affirmative. Questions will direct his attention in the right direction? If you ask a question, the interlocutor will need to answer it, right? When the interlocutor says Yes three times, agrees with you several times, it will be easier for him to tell you the final Yes. Do you agree?
Where to start? The strongest logic collapses if the interlocutor does not want to listen to you initially. Think over the beginning of the conversation — such as to attract attention, so that they will listen to you.
Take the initiative in your own hands. Now that you’re prepared, don’t wait for the other person to start saying something to you, but get ahead of the other person and start asking them your questions. And to make it your habit, practice. Specifically: for three days for three hours (you can break it down), build phrases in such a way that the interlocutor answers you “Yes”.
When will you practice? In what situation? I wish you success!