Sociophobia – the fear of being rejected by society – is a popular neurosis of our time. People who suffer from it mistakenly perceive this disorder as an unchanging part of their personality. And some even deliberately cultivate emotional detachment, trying to appear more mysterious. But what exactly is social phobia?
In modern society, we are very limited in the expression of feelings. From childhood, women are taught “not to cry in public”, “not to call first”, “not to take the initiative in making acquaintances”, and a man who speaks openly about his experiences runs the risk of bearing the stigma of “squishy”.
Today, being a sociophobe is a fashionable trend. The zoomer generation prefers to keep their feelings to themselves so as not to be rejected, misunderstood and misunderstood. Perhaps that is why this type of anxiety disorder is rightly called the disease of the 21st century, and a psychologist who knows how to treat social phobia will definitely not die in poverty.
By the way, it is important to learn to distinguish the game of social phobia from a real anxiety disorder. Neurosis manifests itself in a panic fear of publicity and is accompanied by unpleasant vegetovascular symptoms.
Social phobia should not be romanticized. Evolutionary examples tell us that an unused organ atrophies. In the aspect of mental functions, this principle works the same way. If someone avoids communication and emotional contact with people, then soon he will simply forget how to get to know each other, keep up the conversation and be friendly.
Can cultivated withdrawal lead to an anxiety disorder? Quite!
Who is a sociophobe?
The fear of negative evaluation and emotional rejection contributes to the fact that a person begins to avoid social situations in which he can receive this criticism.
In most cases, people who are prone to social phobia consider themselves timid and shy and perceive these conditions as integral personality traits that nothing can be done about.
This constraint robs them of the opportunity to build personal and professional relationships and, in general, tangibly darkens life. However, if desired, any person is able to get rid of the fear of social interaction, and change character traits that do not suit him to more harmonious ones.
Let me give you an example from my professional life. The client generously allowed me to share his story.
Case study
Mikhail developed social phobia in adolescence. It is believed that this type of anxiety disorder occurs in childhood due to the unfavorable emotional climate in which the child is located. However, this is not always the case.
For example, Mikhail had a great family, he was not subjected to domestic violence, and at school he was not the object of ridicule.
At the age of 15, he became interested in programming and began to earn extra money in this area. Working conditions did not imply leaving the apartment, all actions could be carried out at the computer. The house was very comfortable and did not want to leave.
After a while, he began to notice that he was waiting for the late evening, when it became necessary to go to the store. The deserted streets gave an illusory sense of security because there were no people there.
Most of his peers led an active social life: going to parties and entertainment events, getting together with friends, walking …
And he desperately came up with excuses for not getting into society.
Mikhail stopped picking up the phone when he received a call from an unfamiliar number, answering messages, until the last he delayed visits to the hairdresser or hospital. So much time has passed.
Once he had to go to the store, he got dressed, went to the door and stood near it for 30 minutes. He was worried that he was poorly dressed, that people would look at him with condemnation, that he would make a mistake with payment and everyone would see it.
When he mentally replayed a trip to the grocery store in his head, his heart was pounding furiously, his head was spinning, his palms were sweating. On that day, he could not leave the walls of the house and realized that it was time for him to seek psychological help. That’s how we met.
Social phobia, like many other anxiety disorders, is reinforced by the avoidance of situations in which the person experiences anxiety. Accordingly, an important component of psychotherapy is, on the contrary, to get into these situations on purpose.
Michael was very brave. A month after our joint psychological work, he began to visit almost all places that were inaccessible before: shops, coffee houses, hairdressers and even cinemas.
Gradually, he mastered the missing communication skills, learned to look into the eyes, walk with straightened shoulders, and talk to strangers. Three months later we finished therapy with very impressive results.
Mikhail ceased to be dependent on his illusory fears. I want to note that such a quick result is not always possible. Much depends on the severity of the disorder and the person’s desire to get rid of it.
helpful hints
Perhaps, while reading this text now, some of you have realized that, being fascinated by fashion trends, they cultivate isolation and detachment in themselves. In this case, you can reconsider your attitude to this phenomenon and find the advantages of sincere and open communication with others.
To anyone who is aware of their tendency to social phobia, I highly recommend not to delay therapy. In addition, you can try to work with this anxiety disorder on your own – in mild forms, this is quite realistic.
But still, it’s better to seek advice from a specialist who will help you start living a bright, emotionally rich, fulfilling life without illusory fears and anxieties.
About the Author:
Tatiana Danilova — psychologist, cognitive behavioral therapist, member of the Ukrainian National Psychological Association (NPA). Her .