Sociable people are loved, closed people are less likely to cause sympathy. Outgoing people are more likely to be socially successful: they make friends faster in a new class, it is easier for them to get to know each other on the street, it is not so difficult for them to successfully present themselves at a job interview, and a greater number of professions are open to them. Can, nevertheless, not very sociable person become successful? Yes, it is quite. Moreover, high sociability, at least in some periods of life, turns out to be the cause of developmental delay.
It has been repeatedly observed that if, say, a girl in her early teens fell ill and was forced to spend a lot of time (really a lot of time, up to several years) alone, without the company of her friends, her future turned out to be more prosperous as a result. While other friends were engaged in empty chatter, she read books, thought — and no one distracted her from this …
Most likely, it is not the number of contacts that matters, but their quality: what kind of people surround you. This should be taken care of by the most sociable people.
However, isolation is definitely not good. And what to do with unsociableness?
Those who complain about their lack of communication do not necessarily want to change something. Before you tell them how they can develop their sociability, ask: are they ready to do something, are they really ready to work to learn how to communicate? On this question, you will very rarely hear something cheerful, energetic and concrete. More often it sounds something amorphous and sluggish, like “well, I would like to, but I don’t really believe that something will work out for me.” With such an attitude, nothing will come of it.
Most of the so-called unsociable people are people with the psychology of the Victim, they do not plan to learn to communicate, they do not have this desire. It is easier for them to complain about life, feel sorry for themselves, stay in this state without straining themselves and feel quite comfortable internally. When you complain, but you don’t strain yourself with business, it’s cozy in its own way, it’s like sitting in such a familiar swamp. If you do it for years, you just get used to it. People who complain about being uncommunicative are accustomed to longing, hoping, believing and not setting themselves any goals in life.
Which of these constructs? You need to seize the moment. These unsociable people still have impulses, sometimes they have a desire to escape from this hole. So, here you need to know: it is unrealistic to do this alone, they will not succeed, they do not have the necessary resources. So where is the light at the end of the tunnel? There really is a way out: they need to go to people who will pull them. An uncommunicative young man will not be able to get out of this hole on his own, he himself does not have the strength, but if he clings to people who are alive, active, sociable, they will drag him and can pull him out. It can be done with their energy.
Now let’s clarify: there are still two types of people. If people are normal, in principle lively and quite vigorous people who are really not very sociable and would like to develop this ability of theirs. They are not lazy, they are not inclined to complain, they just did not do this before. For such — everything will work out, who knows how to work — will always achieve his goal. Yes, it is always easier to develop your sociability at good trainings than on your own, but in principle, he can do a lot of things on his own.
Another thing is that people are sour and autistic, tend to feel sorry for themselves and are not used to working. Such people will not pull themselves out. What should they do? They have only one way out: to go to Sinton, to hike, to dance … — to cling to the living, vigorous, to stay in the company, to look for such an opportunity! The one who lives in an environment of vigorous and alive, becomes there himself. So — no one promises quick results. It may be a year, it may be five years, but if you want to change something in your life, this can only be done through a cheerful environment. This is the only option. But it’s realistic. Everything will work out!
In any case, if you really want to become more sociable and start learning how to communicate, this is a great solution. The art of communication needs to be learned, like any other good deed. Good luck to you, good new friends!