Some children do everything very slowly. Is this good or bad? The good thing is that usually such children are distinguished by thoroughness and accuracy. If you did it, you did it, the mosquito will not undermine your nose.
The bad thing is that slowness interferes with interaction with others: the mother gets annoyed and swears, peers overtake and ridicule, the teacher gives bad marks for being late or unfinished homework.
Some believe that slowness is an innate quality of a child, his peculiarity, a trait of his character. It must be taken for granted and allowed to do things at «his» speed. I agree with this statement: if a mother calmly accepts the fact of slowness, she stops swearing at the child, and this is already good.
There are other parents — those who are not limited to the task of good relations with the child, but strive to raise a successful and socially adequate person. Then the issue of swearing is not relevant at all — it goes without saying that there should be a good relationship with the child. But the task of speeding up a slow child becomes paramount.
How to do it? There are many ways and approaches, see the article «Kopush», I like to use the «simplification principle» most of all.
1. Determine how your child is slow. Surely, in a variety of situations — choose one, for starters — a simple one. For example, my son does homework very slowly. Slowly sits down at the table, gradually pulls the diary out of the briefcase, then flips it thoughtfully to the desired page, carefully chooses a suitable place for the diary in the open spaces of his desk … Then he begins to pull out the textbook … When the diary, textbook and notebook are open to the right pages, it comes to pencil case and search for a pen in it … After 15 minutes, he is ready to start doing his homework.
2. Decompose the situation into simple actions and explain to the child what you understand by them. Get the diary from the briefcase — i.e. open the briefcase, put your hand in, feel for the diary, pull it out, put it on the table facing you. Pick up a pen and get ready to write—i.e. take a pen from the table, place it correctly in your hand, put your hand on the notebook so that the pen points to the place where you want to start writing, look at the notebook.
3. Ask the child to do this simple action correctly. Then ask them to do it right and quickly. Train him 10-15 times so that he can do this action easily and naturally. “We train? On my command — one, two, three, take the pen!
4. Move on to the next simple step. If the child still fails to do something quickly, then observe what the plug is, and then … decompose the action into simpler, elementary actions. The diary is not pulled out because of the half-open zipper on the briefcase? Learn how to unzip well.
The method at first glance seems too simple, even primitive, but do not rush to take it lightly. There is a deep inner meaning in these elementary actions.
First, it becomes unprofitable for the child to do slowly.
He faces a fact: if I do it slowly, then I have to perform some incredibly boring tasks, the same thing over and over again. And if I do it quickly, then I myself will be pleased, and my mother will praise. Instead of thinking “I can’t, it doesn’t work out,” I myself see that “I can, it turns out and I like it.”
Secondly, the parent turns from a critic into a helper.
Benevolently, in the interests of the child, he helps him learn complex, and if it doesn’t work out, then simple, and if it doesn’t work out, then elementary tasks. Contact with the child is getting better, relationships are getting better.
Thirdly, everything is fun and cheerful! The child gets used to feel the joy of a clear, quick completion of tasks. In such an atmosphere, any slowness will simply disappear with time, as it is useless.
Procrastination is not a sentence! A child can and should be taught to act cheerfully and energetically! Are we speeding up?
Video from Yana Shchastya: interview with professor of psychology N.I. Kozlov
Topics of conversation: What kind of woman do you need to be in order to successfully marry? How many times do men get married? Why are there so few normal men? Childfree. Parenting. What is love? A story that couldn’t be better. Paying for the opportunity to be close to a beautiful woman.