PSYchology

Use the following tips as a guide to getting your child to listen the first time.

  1. Be an attentive listener yourself. A child cannot become an attentive listener if he has no one to learn this from. Therefore, make sure that you yourself, as an attentive listener, serve as an example of what you require from a child. Show that you listen to your spouse, friends and, most importantly, the child himself. A good reminder is the old saying: “It’s not for nothing that we were given two ears and one mouth!” Listen to your child twice as long as you speak.
  2. Speak politely. The fastest way to get a child to ignore you is to use forms of communication such as criticism, orders, lectures, imposition of opinions, condemnation, intimidation, shouting and pleading. Ask yourself how you would like to be spoken to if you were a child, and use this pattern of communication.
  3. First pay attention to yourself, and then speak. Before you start talking, make sure your child is looking at you. You can slightly lift his chin so that he looks directly into his eyes, or give a verbal command to get his attention: «Please look at me and listen to what I have to say.» When you look into each other’s eyes, the child is completely at your disposal: this is just the right moment to formulate your request. Using this technique every time you really need your child’s attention will get him to listen.
  4. Give a warning. Sometimes it is really difficult for children to switch, especially if they are busy with what they really like. In addition, the child may not really hear you. Set a time limit: “I need your help in two minutes” or “I want to talk to you in a minute. Prepare, please».
  5. Lower your voice. Instead of raising your tone, lower it. Nothing kills the urge faster than yelling, so do the opposite: speak softer and quieter. This usually takes the child by surprise and stops to listen. Teachers have been using this strategy for years because it works.
  6. Speak briefly, softly and precisely. Children become more receptive if they know they won’t have to listen to a lecture, so keep your requests short and to the point: «Please make your bed before you go for a walk», «Now you need to get ready for school», etc. . Limiting the number of words in your request also helps. Sometimes one word is enough: “Homework!”, “Cleaning!” etc.)

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