Six Self-Esteem Exercises

“As soon as I think about writing something, I already feel that accusations will fall. And I think: “Well, it’s better not to…”. “I really want to hold a seminar on one topic and I have enough knowledge, but I’m afraid – what if no one comes to me? Empty chairs. It will be such a blow that I will never recover from it and will never dare again. “If I offer myself to the head of the department, I will have to comply with the status. What if it doesn’t work? Or will someone suddenly decide that I don’t fit? And will he talk about it in front of everyone?

If you get lost from criticism, can’t stand aggression, it seems to you that you are constantly being devalued, then most likely you lack confidence and your self-esteem is unstable. How is confidence and stable self-esteem formed, and what can deprive us of these resources?

In my opinion, these resources are shaped by unconditional parental love and acceptance. If the parents love and accept the child for who he is, then he is confident in his value simply because he is human and exists.

If parents condemn and devalue a child, praise him only for super achievements, limit his strength, criticize his behavior, compare him with others, he develops an unstable self-esteem, relying on someone else’s opinion.

Parents are important figures for a child, he is dependent on their approval. For bad behavior, they can punish, deprive of pleasure, reject. It is highly likely that, having matured, a person who was punished in childhood for bad behavior, from the point of view of parents, will be afraid of the opinions of other people, even strangers. He will be very sensitive to criticism, as if it could really harm him. Fear of evaluation, often unconscious, turns on automatically.

What Exercises Will Help Boost Your Confidence?

• Lists of victories. Remember and write down all the episodes of your life from which you emerged victorious. Start with the most obvious, but not always pronounced: in the “competition” of spermatozoa, it was you who won. This is the confirmation of your super value for this world.
• Stories of power. Recall in detail the specific history of victory, the history of your strength. Describe it in detail and live it in the body, understand what kind of power it is, integrate it into your own body.
• Rewrite your childhood. Write another story of your childhood where you have loving parents and all is well.
• Good parent. Choose your ideal parent (father or mother whose love you missed as a child) from famous real or fictional characters and write yourself a supportive letter on their behalf.
• Defender. Think of a protective figure for yourself. Whatever: a lion, a magical dragon, Godzilla. In situations where you feel fear, take it with you.

• Confident character is the best confidence integration exercise. In what situation do you feel insecure? Which of the characters you know would feel like a fish in water in such a situation? Be that character. Understand how he looks, moves, speaks. It may not be a person, but an animal or a fantastic creature. Reincarnate in him, as actors do. Feel it in your body. Noticed the changes? Slow down and note: where in the body muscles have relaxed, where heat, tingling, vibrations have appeared. Notice and expand these sensations through the breath. Do you understand now that this is a confident being, energetically different from you? Integrate these differences. It is especially useful if you feel where confidence, stable self-esteem lives in his body, and expand this area through breathing. It is desirable to fill your whole body with this energy of confidence and stable self-esteem. Live in a state of confidence for a few hours. Chat with people, notice what’s new in your relationship. I am sure you will receive some bonuses that you were previously deprived of. Reproduce this state in your body every time you need confidence.