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Signs that identify “emotional vampires” and how to neutralize them
Psychology
«They usually act from the daily and progressively, imprisoning their victims in a kind of mental prison that they are building from the beginning of the relationship ». Thus begins the definition that the psychologist Gema Sánchez Cuevas makes when explaining the signs that identify an “emotional predator” or “emotional vampire.” The expert warns of the fact that these are people who enter the psychological terrain of the other person slowly and in a masked way to influence them on a moral, social and psychological level. «It is said that it is a clean violence because nobody perceives anything, only the victim, who actually does capture the irony and the insinuations of the emotional predator, “he clarifies.
Despite being aware of this irony and these insinuations, the victim may even go so far as to justify them if you have been caught in that mental trap of those subtle disqualifications that lead you to think that it’s worth nothing . “He usually looks for a reason for his behavior, a reason why the aggressor acts in this way and other justifications that are not valid and that cause the victim to create a distorted image of himself,” reveals Sánchez-Cuevas.
The worst thing about this type of situation is that the victim can maintain a relationship with an emotional vampire for a long time without noticing his influence. On some occasions, according to the psychologist, they do not realize until they are emotionally exhausted or until they feel that they are no longer what they were and have lost their essence and even their identity.
What do I do if I don’t realize it?
To identify if we are in a relationship of this type without knowing it, the psychologist invites us to ask ourselves these questions: «Do you feel isolated or isolated?« Have you lost contact with your loved ones? »,« Do you have difficulties in relating to your family and friends? »,« Have your values and your way of thinking changed? ? “,” Do you think that these changes have made you distance yourself from the person you used to be? “,” Do you think you have lost your identity? “,” How do you value yourself? “,” Do you feel that you are full or full of guilt? and are you afraid to express or give your opinion? »…
Once this is done reflexión The psychologist explains that, if after giving an honest answer to these questions we feel isolated, no emotional support ni affective support of any kind; If we are also afraid to express our opinion, we have a negative view of ourselves and our values have changed, it is possible that we are having a relationship with an “emotional vampire.”
It is time to find a solution
The usual thing is that that person is afraid, guilty and insecure and getting out of this type of relationship is not easy because after a time locked in a psychological trap it is likely that his Self esteem has been damaged. “He is no longer the person he was and he has to restructure his thoughts with his emotions and give himself courage, know himself important and demand good treatment,” adds the expert.
The first thing to do, according to Sánchez-Cuevas, is to stop justifying the aggressor and ask for help. «Finding a support network is essential. It is advisable to resume contact with the people with whom you had strong emotional ties because they can be a good emotional support to get rid of the situation and resist psychologically, “says the psychologist, who indicates that it is also important to go to a specialist, who will help you learn to manage what you have experienced, work on your identity and return to be the person you were before starting that relationship.