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Shy and shy child – how to teach him to communicate
If the kid is shy, refuses to play with children, it means that he is haunted by some fears. Systemic family psychologist Marina Slinkova tells how to find the reason for the detachment and help the child overcome the communication barrier.
January 29 2018
It happens that isolation is inherited. But more often the reluctance to make contact is a defense mechanism to isolate oneself from irritants. First of all, the situation in the family affects the baby. The crumb can close if the mother is constantly worried about him or one of the parents is always unhappy with him. By the age of 3-4, you can already see how sociable the child is. If he is shy, this trait will only get worse over time. It is advisable to teach the kid to communicate before he goes to school.
A reason to be wary if the baby speaks little, his speech is quiet. The kid is unemotional or too touchy, whiny. It is necessary to take measures when a preschooler in kindergarten avoids children, silently watches them. Unwillingness to talk to adults, an attempt to hide in a “house” – to raise your shoulders and avert your eyes to the side – is also a signal that the child needs increased attention.
There are seven main ways to help your child get out of the sink.
1. Inspire that people are good and kind
The kid thinks that the world is hostile, so he treats everyone with caution. Your goal is to destroy the negative attitude. Emphasize his attention on the fact that others like him. Say, for example: “Look, what a cute girl came up to you, you can play with her.” Offer communication options, but be delicate. You cannot force shy children to do something with force.
A closed baby is stronger than others, needs the approval of loved ones. Indeed, he often avoids peers, because he is not sure of himself. Be generous with praise, especially in public.
3. Show that communication is enjoyable.
If you are relaxed and calm while talking with the interlocutor, the baby will feel your mood and take it into service. Be hospitable, invite friends with children of different ages home. In a familiar environment, it is easier for a child to decide on contact.
For a shy person, tactile sensations are especially important. Therefore, hold your child’s hand when you are in a new place for him.
Ask the child’s opinion on any questions: what to cook for dinner, where he wants to go for a walk. Teach him to express thoughts in words. Let him tell why he is offended or sits alone in the corner. But do not forget that a son or daughter should have personal territory and the opportunity to be alone with themselves.
Sports sections, dances, theater studio are suitable. The main thing is to find what the baby likes. To help get rid of the fear of the public, play forfeits or ask to portray animals, fairy-tale characters with facial expressions and gestures. Come up with tasks together. Cultivate your imagination – this is also liberating. At first, play together in turns and gradually expand the company.
7. Read fairy tales with many goodies
Discuss how they behave, quarrel, reconcile. For example, in the fairy tale “Teremok” there is an ideal picture of relationships.