Should you talk to your kids about politics?

Is it possible to do without politics at all?

No, it’s impossible to avoid it completely. And without TikTok, politics enters a child’s head in a completely legal way: in history class. It is there that children learn how the state system arises and changes. And since we are talking about specific people and destinies, with the proper level of teaching and involvement, they experience empathy, compare certain characters with themselves, and historical situations with what they see around them.

It is in history lessons that children learn about revolutionaries, constitutions, and everything that forms the beginnings of political views in their minds. Here discussions with peers begin, and often disputes with teachers.

Thus, we should not initially overestimate the possibility of hiding information about political life from our children. Otherwise, it will turn out like with sex in a joke: we have not talked about this with a teenager yet, but he is already doing it.

However, throwing everything to chance is also not worth it. And this is where opinions differ.

“It is necessary to take into account the needs of children and give them information in the form in which they are able to assimilate it,” says social psychologist, retired colonel of the Ministry of Internal Affairs Anzhela Konstantinova. She is sure that parents can and should engage in patriotic education, tell teenagers about the achievements of the Soviet Union, the Great Patriotic War and other important milestones in the country’s history.

Clinical psychologist Alexandra Yaurova believes that there is no need to invent anything special in the process of “political enlightenment”. “In most cases, teenagers take the same position that is accepted in their family. There is no such mass phenomenon as opposition teenagers with conservative parents,” she says.

Apparently, naturalness becomes our best friend in such conversations. Sociologist, professor at the Higher School of Economics in St. Petersburg Daniil Aleksandrov notes that parents should not talk to their children about values ​​and views that they themselves do not share, about things that they themselves are indifferent to. “Otherwise, you jeopardize the trust that now serves as the only real basis for good family relationships,” he concludes.

Is someone taking advantage of my children?

“Now children play gadgets, navigate the Internet, where they receive visual, but false information. Games and Western cartoons have an impact on them that we cannot always understand and appreciate,” says Anzhela Konstantinova.

This opinion is shared by many, and in the media you can often hear that children become a bargaining chip in someone’s political games, that they are being influenced purposefully, that they are being used.

Daniil Alexandrov believes that what is happening is more like speculation on parental fears. Alexandra Yaurova believes that there is no question of any zombie-making of minors through social networks. However, the fear that someone is manipulating our children is not far-fetched and may be a symptom of another problem.

“This is the fear of losing control over the child,” says Alexandra Yaurova. According to her, it is necessary to take into account the peculiarities of adolescence associated with an orientation towards a significant group of peers. For them, behavior is normal, which manifests itself in the desire to imitate others outwardly and not only.

Sociologist Daniil Alexandrov believes that the influence of the Internet should not be overestimated. He refers to the arguments of the Canadian sociologist Malcolm Gladwell, who analyzed the role of the social network Twitter in mobilizing protests in Moldova and Iran and questioned the idea that young people go to protests out of selfish motives and at someone’s command, based on artificially created conditions.

“Teenagers are very sensitive to any falsehood, so they quickly lose interest in a formalized, bureaucratic “movement”. They are ready to move mountains when they feel engaged in socially meaningful activity when it comes to fighting for dignity,” he says. “A great incentive is also the feeling of an elbow, being close to like-minded people.”

“Fathers and Sons” of our time

Alexandra Yaurova believes that a truly new phenomenon can be called the immersion of adolescents in a common information field with adults, which is also very oversaturated. If the older generation seeks to narrow this field down to a few topics that are important to them, then the younger generation has adapted differently: it perceives information broadly, but more superficially, changing interests from day to day.

“This is clearly visible on the same TikTok.” There, trends change several times a week,” Alexandra says. Thus, one should not be afraid that children will stick to posts “about the revolution” for a long time. According to Daniil Alexandrov, despite all the achievements of progress, one cannot write off the biological side of the issue, and therefore one should not be surprised at the teenage protest.

“Many species of social animals have well-known behavioral features in a similar age period: rejection of authorities, the desire to leave the parent pack, to be close to their peers. A man too. It did not appear yesterday and will not disappear tomorrow,” he notes.

The sociologist gives a definition: youth is a social group that has gone beyond the control of parents, but has not yet fallen under the control of the labor market: “Therefore, no one knows what to do with them, all over the world, and not just here in Russia.”

To find a compromise

But what exactly should we do if our opinion regarding political events does not agree with the opinion of children? To answer briefly: you have to work hard, but not so much with the children, but on yourself.

Psychologists and sociologists agree that in the conditions of an oversaturated information field, the traditional function of educating children by parents today has practically come to naught. “It certainly worries us. After all, our parents and the parents of our parents taught children a lot, but we no longer. This gives rise to a feeling of loss of control, which I have already mentioned, as well as fear, helplessness and sometimes even panic, ”says Yaurova.

And this is not the only problem. Returning to the topic of politics, we must admit that many of us, being adults and experienced people, have not formed a clear political position. And some are not interested in politics at all and do not understand it. However, it is difficult for children to admit this frankly, because this is a demonstration of vulnerability, unacceptable for those who want to conform to the traditional model of a family with all-knowing and all-ruling parents. In particular, such recognition is difficult for men.

The lack of reasonable arguments in a dispute with your own child leads to an illogical conclusion about his disobedience. And the conversation itself is translated into topics of shortcomings related to study or behavior: here children usually do not have the opportunity to justify themselves.

“Demonstrating your vulnerability is the way to build trust. There is nothing wrong with that,” says Daniil Aleksandrov. What, according to him, is definitely not worth doing is trying to tighten the screws of control and authoritarianism to the limit. Such tactics will only lead to the fact that the child learns to lie and pretend.

Both experts are sure that honesty will be the main tool here. “It is not necessary to say that this or that politician is right and another is wrong, guilty or not guilty, if we are simply afraid that the child will join some kind of action and something bad will happen to him. It is necessary to speak frankly to him precisely about these fears and risks, ”says the psychologist. Including legal ones, because their parents are responsible for participation in unsanctioned rallies of minors.

Talking about worries and fears will not destroy parental authority, but will strengthen trust between adult and child. So do not be afraid and pretend to be who we are not. “We will not completely lose control, but we will not achieve complete control,” Alexandra Yaurova sums up.