Should I go to psychology?

To some, they seem to be special people who hold the keys to human souls. Oracles capable of unraveling our secrets, unknown to ourselves. Healers who relieve heartache. Let’s try to get rid of romantic notions and take a sober look at this work. Because a psychologist is just a job. But not at all simple.

Desire to help

A psychologist is a helping profession, clients turn to psychologists for help… Does it seem to follow from this that people who want to help others should go to psychologists? Not everything is so clear.

“At the heart of our profession, of course, there is a desire to be useful, to help,” says Gestalt therapist Nifont Dolgopolov. “But I have been training psychologists for many years and I can say that a pronounced desire to help often leads to negative consequences.” Systemic family therapist Anna Varga agrees with this. “If a psychologist is eager to help and overwhelmed with pity for the client, this is a bad motivation. It most likely hides its own unresolved problems.”

What does this mean for the client? “The psychologist seeks to quickly get visible results of his work, confirming to himself that he helped, and thus increasing his professional self-esteem,” explains Nifont Dolgopolov. “In doing so, he violates the client’s boundaries, pushing him to advance in therapy faster than he is ready.” In this way, the psychologist can harm the client if he increases resistance or leaves therapy altogether. That is why helping cannot be the goal of therapy.

«Главное — понять клиента, выстроить с ним психотерапевтический контакт, а помощь — это побочный эффект», — заключает Анна Варга.

Такой вот парадокс: желание помогать мешает помогать.

interest in people

Что ж, тогда, может быть, будущему психологу нужно любить людей? Совсем не обязательно, возражает Нифонт Долгополов. Более того, в некоторых случаях это может стать препятствием в психологической работе, поскольку сильное чувство мешает специалисту сохранять необходимую позицию «нейтральности».

The same is true for negative emotions. Can a specialist experience, for example, disgust for a client? “This is absolutely unprofessional! exclaims Anna Varga. “Imagine a surgeon who, instead of operating, begins to think that the patient is ugly. It is the same with a psychologist: when during work he enters a professional position, he is already “not quite a person”, rather, a function.

But what is really extremely important for a psychologist, experts agree, is sincere curiosity and interest in people, in their inner world. Nifont Dolgopolov adds two more qualities to this: benevolence, in order to explore his inner world together with the client, and respect – it suggests that any features and actions of another person deserve careful attention and consideration. “If I respect another person,” says the Gestalt therapist, “then I give him the right to his own thoughts, feelings, values, even if they do not coincide with mine.”

Good attitude towards yourself

«Я не могу по-доброму и уважительно относиться к другому человеку, если не люблю и не уважаю себя, невысоко себя оцениваю, — подчеркивает Нифонт Долгополов. — Мера моей терпимости к другим людям, и в частности к клиентам, зависит от того, насколько я терпим к своим недостаткам, к своим действиям, насколько умею признавать их, при этом не разрушая свои ценности и идеалы».

Это подразумевает способность к рефлексии — сознаванию своих мыслей, переживаний, действий, которое развивается в обучении. Если родители интересуются внутренним миром ребенка, если для них это ценность, то они и его побуждают обращать интерес внутрь себя, отмечает Нифонт Долгополов. Интерес этот может прийти и через литературу, и шире — культуру, если ребенка в семье к ней приобщают. Такой детский опыт может быть хорошей (но не обязательной) предпосылкой для занятий психологией.

In any case, during the training, a psychology student will spend many hours in therapy, emphasizes Anna Varga. “A psychologist will be taught to observe himself and be aware of what is happening in his soul. Unless, of course, this is a serious educational institution. Sometimes you have to deal with the fact that a practicing psychologist was not a client himself, and this is very bad.”

Your own therapist

Бывает и обратная ситуация. Психология часто привлекает тех, кто на самом деле хочет (часто бессознательно) разобраться с собственными проблемами и трудностями. То есть их интерес скорее направлен не вовне, на других людей, а внутрь, на себя самих. Терапия, которую студент проходит во время учебы, поможет разобраться, что на самом деле привело его в эту профессию, и вполне возможно, что он сумеет разрешить свои проблемы.

“There is nothing wrong when initially a student is driven by a desire to get help himself, if in the course of training he successfully advances in self-healing,” says Nifont Dolgopolov. “This experience can be a good basis for understanding others and helping them.”

Если же его проблемы не решаются и он остается более клиентом терапевта, чем профессионалом, то он не сможет соответствовать требованиям, которые предъявляет к нему система психологического образования.

“The teachers will explain to him that it would be better to think about another specialty. And the student himself usually understands that he can’t cope, ”says Anna Varga. “But even if he gets a certificate as a psychologist, he won’t be able to really help clients and, most likely, they won’t go to him,” adds Nifont Dolgopolov.

False motives

Deal with the question “why am I going into this profession?” for the future psychologist is extremely important. This choice may be based on hidden motives that emerge at the key moments of personal psychotherapy: the desire for power, self-affirmation, the need for admiration, love …

«Все это рентные мотивы (человек хочет получать «ренту» от своей профессии), и они недопустимы», — объясняет Анна Варга. «Если в ходе обучения мы выясняем, что ученик стремится использовать клиентов для удовлетворения своих эгоцентрических потребностей, для нас это сигнал, что ему противопоказано заниматься практикой, и он может не получить сертификат», — подтверждает Нифонт Долгополов.

Learn from others, work on yourself

Finally, those who believe that the profession of a psychologist will allow them to earn a living in peace, without reporting to anyone, must part with illusions. This job involves a great sense of responsibility, and can also carry risks, such as meeting unstable or sometimes dangerous clients.

The study itself will be long. You cannot become a practicing psychologist by entering a university right after high school. “Such young people receive a basic psychological education and can work as researchers,” says Anna Varga. “But in order to practice, they lack the experience that will help them understand what clients have to say. To become, for example, a family therapist, you have to study for another four years. Mature people often come to us after 35 – and this is perhaps the best option.

Кроме того, и во время учебы, и став практикующим специалистом, психолог регулярно проходит супервизии, где обсуждает свою работу с опытными коллегами. «Студентов нередко родные спрашивают: «Когда уже ты выучишься и перестанешь ходить на свои тренинги?! — улыбается Нифонт Долгополов. — А ответить можно только одно: это будет продолжаться всегда, потому что так устроена эта профессия».

A psychologist must be a member of at least one professional community: “Otherwise, he is nobody! exclaims Anna Varga. “There is no collective body behind him with which he can consult, which will give him feedback, and in case of unacceptable mistakes, will apply sanctions.”

cultural baggage

It may seem to us that this is a necessary condition for successful practice, especially if we read the books of the classics of psychology, marveling at the richness of their cultural associations. In fact, it depends on the approach that the specialist chooses for himself.

For example, in systemic family therapy, Anna Varga explains, a professional really needs to be widely educated, understand such related areas as medicine, psychiatry, philosophy, neuroscience, ethology (animal behavior), know modern cultural trends: cinema, theater, literature, because this is the external environment that surrounds the family.

And, say, for short-term psychological help, when it comes to stress or shock, cultural baggage is not necessary, it is enough to have the necessary strategies to get a good result. The Gestalt method requires attentiveness and the ability to describe well what is seen and heard. “For this, rather, a rich language is needed,” Nifont Dolgopolov reflects. – And this already depends on the wealth of the individual. After all, the psychologist works with himself, with his thoughts, experiences, his personal experience. Although, of course, professional knowledge from related fields is also needed.”

Gift or craft?

Anna Varga answers this question categorically: “This is not a gift. I am against this myth. This is a profession. This is skill. And even in a sense, a craft. In her opinion, anyone can master it, provided that he is well trained. The only thing is that he must understand his professional limitations. So, a conscientious and responsible psychologist who does not shine with bright ideas can work effectively as a training leader.

“As in any profession, there are especially gifted people among psychologists. I remember how brilliantly my teachers worked with a large audience, how they inspired hundreds of people in the hall. That’s what talent is needed for, – Nifont Dolgopolov reflects. But this is not at all necessary for a practical psychologist. Having a good school and painstakingly working with a client, you can always be of great benefit.

Но как не утратить живой интерес к профессии после долгих лет практики и встреч с сотнями клиентов? «Психолог не должен работать на износ, это ведет к угасанию энергии и у него не будет естественного импульса включаться в клиента, — отвечает Нифонт Долгополов. — Чтобы избежать выгорания, нужно ограничить количество клиентов». И еще заботиться о себе, уделять внимание разным сферам своей жизни, а не только профессиональной.