Or is a man’s duty only to earn money and provide for his family? The editor of “Antenna – Telesem” in St. Petersburg, who this winter became the mother of a charming baby, shares her experience. And our expert psychologist answers the question whether the father should sit with the child.
– Alena, you just have no idea how lucky you are! – extended a longtime friend Natasha, when my children and husbands and I went for a walk in the park. My faithful proudly rolled a stroller in front of him, constantly straightening Marusya’s hat and checking if the baby was cold in the changeable St. Petersburg weather. Natalia’s husband stomped imposingly with his hands in his pockets. And their son literally hung on his mother. Vanechka is an adult guy, he is almost three years old, but without the help of his mother nowhere: give me a napkin, then tie a string.
– He said I earn money, your business is to look after the child and put things in order in the house, – Natasha complained.
Vitya never got up at night with a child, for a walk in the park together they got out almost for the first time. And despite the fact that the family is quite wealthy, Vanechka took a ride on the rides for the first time.
Natasha has a car, her husband gave it to the birth of his son. There is also a renovated apartment. And then there are complaints about the taste of the dinner and the degree of ironing of the shirt. But Natasha does not have time for herself, she is still in the same jeans and jacket as before pregnancy, she constantly hides her indecently grown manicure in her pockets.
My husband is a completely different matter. He was the first to take our daughter in his arms even in the maternity hospital, when the nurses brought her after the cesarean. He changed her first diaper, the first to learn to swaddle. Andrei gets up to Marusa at night, feeds her from a bottle, puts her to bed in the evenings. On weekends, with peace of mind, I can leave my daughter to my husband and go about my business even for the whole day. Yes. I’m lucky. But many young mothers themselves do not believe that a man should take care of a child.
Serious controversy broke out on one of the women’s forums. If usually five to ten comments were typed under the message, then this post caused a flurry of reviews. One of the mummies lamented that some of them go to the clinic with whole families, they say, because of the daddies, it is not possible to push through the narrow corridors at all. She herself always walked alone, because she never wanted to strain her husband with female responsibilities.
Mothers immediately divided into two different camps – those who supported the author, and those who categorically believed that the father should participate in raising the child.
The arguments in favor of “this is not a man’s business” sounded like this:
– he gets tired;
– not interesting with a small child;
– the paternal instinct is a myth, men begin to love their children almost for school;
– Everyone must do their job;
– the husband must be protected, the child is with you in any way forever, and the husband can find another;
– how can you entrust a child to a man?
The arguments in favor of “daddy may” were also not entirely convincing:
– you are a family who promised to share all the sorrows and joys in two;
– if the father does not take care of the baby, he will never love him;
– what fatigue after work, when the little one smiles at you;
– the mother gets tired too;
– men are the best nannies.
– Both parents play a very important role in the formation of our personality. If the father is not allowed near the child, he really does not know what and how to do with him, and loses interest. Fathers become afraid of children because they don’t know how to communicate with them. It is important for a child to feel paternal support and support. When a child is raised by his mother and father, not necessarily from birth, he develops harmoniously. And it is unlikely that when he grows up, he will spend time on trainings for personal growth and classes “Love yourself.” By the way, parents love in different ways, and this is also important. The mother loves just like that, and the father – for something, a kind of achievement love. An interesting experiment was conducted by psychologists with children from an orphanage. The children were offered to play the mother and daughter game. And nobody wanted to be a dad. Because I didn’t know how fathers actually behave. The kids knew for sure that all the household chores were done by their mother. When one of the boys was appointed to the role of dad, he simply took the newspaper, lay down on the sofa and began to read it. So the relationship in your family will ultimately affect the relationship in your child’s family.
Interview
Do you think dad should take care of the child?
Of course, and I immediately told my husband about it
Only if the husband wants it himself
I do not trust my husband, he will definitely do something wrong
I don’t want my spouse to get tired at home, not just at work.
Another answer, leave in the comments