Your 13-15-year-old daughter is dating an XNUMXth grader… A girl likes to feel like the object of an adult man’s desire, and a boy is flattered by such a look at him. “The concern in this case is not unfounded, but avoid harsh measures,” advises the candidate of pedagogical sciences Marina Aromshtam.
Teenage girls often fall in love with young people several years older: they seem more experienced and «sexier» than their classmates. A girl likes to feel like an object of desire for an adult man, and a young man is flattered by such a look at him. The first and natural impulse of the girl’s parents is to prohibit all contact between them. But tough measures have the opposite effect: they provoke lovers to accelerate the development of relationships and the desire to show feelings to the end.
Love is a private matter that cannot be controlled. But on the other hand, your anxiety is justified, so be consistent. If your daughter is going on a date in the evening, insist that she return before midnight. If possible, send an older friend, an older brother along with her … Do not expose the girl to temptation by leaving her at home alone for the weekend. Finally, invite the young man to a «male conversation» that should be conducted directly, but tactfully. Reassure the young man that you respect his feelings and your daughter’s feelings. But you wouldn’t want your daughter to have sexual intercourse so early. This could be hazardous to her health. Remind the young man that the girl should listen to the opinion of her parents, who are her protectors and advisers. And that you hope to meet understanding from his side.
However, sooner or later you will have to talk with your daughter about sexual relations, talk about contraception. If you find it difficult to discuss such issues, pass the baton to an older sister or young aunt. Be sure to invite your daughter to go to the gynecologist, who will talk about the practical side of the issue. And you yourself will wait for her in the corridor … Modern teenagers have their own view on the loss of innocence. If this does happen, don’t make a tragedy out of it. The situation with the feelings of the girl is much more serious if, having crossed the line of intimacy, the young man leaves her. In addition, the first sexual experience at such an early age may be unsuccessful. Support your daughter by avoiding the sarcastic “You were told!”. Tell her about your first love. And insist that such an experience is very important. It shows how deeply, subtly and strongly your girl can feel, and teaches you to better understand other people.