One of the most painful and controversial experiences is explored in his book by neuroscientist, ethologist, permanent expert of Psychologies Boris Tsiryulnik.
Psychologies How does shame arise?
Boris Tsirulnik: Gradually. A baby cannot be ashamed when he wets his diaper, because he lives in a world of sensations. Only from the age of four will he be able to represent the mental world of another person. He may have a question: “How does this affect the life of another?” – and he will probably be able to experience shame. And the meaning of shame varies by culture. The child of an Indian from the untouchable caste becomes so accustomed to the position of a man of the lower class that he accepts it and does not suffer. In the Middle Ages, money was considered something shameful, and today in European culture, only financial victory matters.
Psychologies Why do we need this feeling?
B. C .: Shame is a social feeling, an instrument of conformism.
We experience it only under the gaze of other people. Because of their words, views, opinions, we feel that we have done something ridiculous, indecent, unworthy. And it’s so painful that we tend to give in just to stop being ashamed. Shame cultures easily escalate towards totalitarianism, while democratic cultures allow people to express themselves however they want without regard to others.
About shame. Die but don’t say
“On Shame” is the first book by psychologist Boris Tsiryulnik, a beloved Psychologies expert, translated into Russian.