In the eyes of man, woman changes status
After childbirth, the couple does not immediately resume their sex life. First for health reasons (closure of the cervix, healing of the episiotomy), specialists advise young parents to wait at least six weeks before returning to sex. In some cases, this delay is not enough. In addition to the accumulated fatigue, some couples encounter blockages. As sexologist Gérard Leleu explains, “a man can be traumatized by the visions of childbirth. He was pressured, even unconsciously, to attend “. In addition, “the companion, object of desire in normal times, is in a state of suffering. The images (blood, urine, screams), far from erotic scenes, can cause trouble, ”says Gérard Leleu. Fortunately, more often than not, ” the man manages to exceed this milestone, because of his growing libido. For her part, the woman has a painful memory of childbirth. Without forgetting the degraded image that it can have of itself (weight gain, less toned chest, stretch marks…). It is therefore important that “the man reassures her in order to reconcile her with his body. Returning from motherhood, a woman can also change her status in the eyes of her husband. “She becomes a mother, like her own mother. Suddenly, some men are in the dialectic of incest, ”emphasizes Gérard Leleu. The companion then becomes untouchable. Another problem: merging with baby. After childbirth – and this is normal – young mothers only have eyes for their little one. But sometimes the jealous man feels pushed aside and turns away. According to Gérard Leleu, very often “unconsciously, a woman forms a couple with the primary goal of having a child. Once the baby is there, the man ceases to be the lover and is reduced only to the status of parent. »We reassure ourselves: the balance in the couple and desire will return! You just have to take your time …
Reinventing your sexuality
Tenderness is the key word after pregnancy. According to sex therapist Gérard Leleu, young parents should not skimp on caresses, the visual, and bet everything on skin to skin. In short, relationships become more sensual than sexual. And as our expert points out, “artistic, artisanal love with hands is essential. “” The man must pay homage to the femininity of his companion, re-tame her like his lover, and above all withdraw any gesture that would no longer be accepted, in particular because of complexes. “According to Gérard Leleu, the most important thing is to invent new caresses and kisses to satisfy your partner. Let it be said: childbirth is a real “sporting event” for mothers, not to mention that, when they return home, parents are regularly woken up at night by their infant. Suddenly, all the accumulated fatigue naturally leads to a drop in libido. The solution to continue cuddling without getting too tired: opt for positions a little more … convenient. For Gérard Leleu, “the Andromache” (when the woman is seated on the man) allows the young mother to spare herself, and especially to control the movements. The sex therapist also suggests “doggy style”, provided, of course, that you ask your partner not to be too abrupt. Without forgetting the classic “missionary”, but which will not allow “the woman to move as much as she wishes …”