While sexual mores lead to practices bordering on perversity, how can we distinguish between sexual perversion and unprecedented experience? Can the sexual pervert, who has become almost a source of excitement, present a danger to the partner? Update on kinky sex in the age of sexual liberation.

In the medical sense of the term, the sexual pervert – in the opinion of psychiatrists – is a narcissistic and self-centered person who pursues only one goal: to satisfy his desires in order to achieve sexual enjoyment. In this context, the sexual pervert – beyond focusing only on his own pleasure to the exclusion of his partner’s sexual pleasure – does not experience romantic or emotional feelings for the other.

Certain clues allow us to recognize forms of sexual perversion. The narcissistic and egocentric character of the person, but also his attraction to sexual practices considered to be limits – paraphilias and taboo fantasies. But beware, the desire to try a new practice to spice up one’s sexuality as a couple does not necessarily imply perversity. It is generally the repetitive nature of extreme sexual solicitations, as well as the manifestation of the partner’s selfishness that more easily translates his personality as a sexual pervert. 

Certain practices are the manifestation of a form of sexual perversion. These are, for example, paraphilias. But at a time when it becomes trendy to test particularly daring sexual practices, when the sexual taboo no longer exists or very little, should we conclude that all individuals have become sexual perverts? No, of course.

Perverse sex: a definition that evolves over time.

It is first of all important to specify that the notion of perversity evolves to a large extent over the ages. Considered to be at odds with morality, sexual perversion thus depends on the evolution of morals. By way of illustration: it was customary to define homosexuality and sodomy as perverted sex at one time.

Today, many forms of paraphilias are popular sexual experiences, and fuel the fantasies of couples in which no sexual pervert acts. Sadomasochism, fetishism, triolism: these practices represent above all the means of making new experiences. Bestiality or exhibitionism, on the other hand, are repressed by law and suffer from a negative connotation: deviant practices, they bring their followers closer to the sexual pervert.

The sexual pervert is characterized by his personality more than by his deviant practices.

In practice, the sexual pervert is not defined by his sexual mores but by his personality. When a foot fetishist cannot achieve sexual enjoyment in the absence of the object of their fantasy and makes a point of having the other’s feet play an active role during intercourse, it may be appropriate to ask the question of his perversity. Conversely, the partner who licks his lover’s toes during a single sexual relationship should not be immediately suspected. Sexual perversion is mainly a matter of circumstance: forcing the other to indulge in sadomasochism involves a form of perversity while mutually agreed BDSM is an experience. 

Sexual perversion can lead to wrongdoing. To this extent, the sexual pervert is dangerous for others. By being centered on his pleasure at a level of pathological intensity, the sexual pervert is tempted to break all the rules and not pay attention to the other: psychological pressure, verbal violence, physical attacks … the excesses of the perversity are numerous and can be very serious.

When an individual recognizes in his partner a sexual pervert, it is important to talk about it with those around him. It is difficult – even risky – to discuss treatment with the person concerned, who as a general rule is not eager to cure himself of his perversity.