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Erotic dreams… They give pleasure to some, while others can even frighten with their intensity and frankness. But in any case, they have a deep meaning. Which?
The more internal prohibitions a person has, the more symbols with sexual meaning appear in his dreams, says psychoanalyst Tristan-Frédéric Moire. But even the same symbol in the dreams of several dreamers can be interpreted in different ways.
Psychologies: Do all erotic dreams really have a sexual meaning?
Tristan-Frederick Moire: Not necessary. You don’t have to take your dreams literally. It often happens that dreams indicate sexuality, which at first glance have nothing to do with it, and vice versa. Eros, the impulse of life, is most often the main character in sexual dreams. This energy, the most powerful, much more developed and broader than the sexual impulse, includes the totality of our desires for life and love. It is addressed to the whole world and is connected with inner self-realization.
Take, for example, a scenario that is repeated in many of my patients: in a dream they see themselves in the company of a person of the same or another sex. Understanding, sensuality, love atmosphere reigns between them. There is no penetration, but the setting is very erotic.
Dreams of this type, very common, rarely have a sexual meaning. First of all, they represent the harmony between the feminine and the masculine in every person or his love for himself. That is, they are about learning to love those parts of ourselves that we sometimes reject or they bother us.
But what about scenes in which erotic practices are played out?
Cunnilingus done in a dream is most often a tribute to admiration for femininity, fellatio is an expression of admiration for masculinity, and not the satisfaction of a secret desire. Such dreams must be understood primarily in this sense.
Dreams in which we give someone erotic caresses most often indicate mutual understanding and a meeting between the feminine and masculine in us. Jung calls them anima and animus. When they are in place and well developed, it is easier for a person to communicate with the world and with others, because he does not suffer from any internal dilemma. He is able to go in different directions, explore new paths.
Sometimes patients dream of sexual exploits to allow them to have pleasure that is lacking in real life.
Such very positive sexual dreams bring us together, give us access to all our complexity and help us to open up more fully in real life.
And when does a sexual dream speak of sexuality?
It all depends on the context in which it fits. But sometimes, in a purely sexual dream, repressed impulses or desires are expressed: if a woman dreams of fellatio or a man cunnilingus, although they never did, then the dream may call them to remove this block.
If a person regularly sees the same erotic scenario in a dream, perhaps he gives a green light, indicates that you need to try to get closer to the one who is dreaming. It happens that we see in a dream a person with whom we have mutual understanding. Such a dream confirms that the presence of this person is imprinted in our unconscious.
The sexual dream can also play a compensatory role when sexuality is absent in reality. If a dream causes nocturnal orgasms, this is a sign that sex is not enough. If a woman dreams of an orgasm with penetration, or if a man ejaculates in a dream, this indicates that they are not using their sexuality enough.
Sometimes patients dream of sexual exploits to bring them to orgasm, to allow them to get pleasure that is lacking in everyday life. Then the question arises why they cannot enjoy reality. This question can be raised in therapy or on your own, if a person is capable of it: grief, loneliness, as well as prohibitions, blocks, guilt, fear …
Many mental limitations can block the way to pleasure, and other dreams can shed light on these limitations – not necessarily sexual, but talking about our sexuality.
dreamer’s lexicon
Several symbols deciphered by Tristan-Frédéric Moire.
- Elevator. The movement of the elevator symbolizes the rise of libido, the internal circulation of this energy. If it is too strong and suppressed, it often creates anxiety.
- Cat. Symbol of the female genital organs. It is ambivalent for men, in whom these organs cause both great temptation and disgust, the fear of not being up to par. The cat also symbolizes a powerful instinctive desire.
- Футбол. This game means the most important primary act – sexual intercourse and fertilization. The ball represents the egg, and the legs represent the sperm. Thus, every scene of football that we see in a dream is associated with a sexual impulse.
- Sink (sink). The cavity, most often it represents the female genitalia, the vagina. Whereas the crane represents the male penis. Their shape and position – above and below – reinforce the meaning of sexual polarities.
- Orange. The color of sexuality often symbolizes the energy of desire. Our consciousness directs the pure instinctive energy of red to the knowledge represented by yellow. The fusion of these colors is the union of two beings that are united to give new life.
- Snake. Symbol of sexual energy. But this is an archaic and sometimes frightening energy, not warmed by a feeling of love. Most people who dream of a snake consider it dangerous. Her appearance is a sign that sexual energy is coming into play. But it is hidden because the dreamer censors certain aspects of it.
- Car. Sometimes it symbolizes the desired body, the partner with whom the dreamer has a love relationship. Or a person who is guided along the paths of desire. If the engine starts with half a turn, the meaning of sleep is obvious. If the dreamer sees that a car has been stolen from him, then there is a feeling that his partner is being “taken away”. A black car with dazzling headlights can symbolize a femme fatale.
Can you give an example of such a mechanism?
A patient recently came to see me who had become a prisoner of his sense of duty. He divorced his wife and is so worried about taking good care of children that he forbade himself from a love relationship. In his last dream, he saw that he was being checked with a phallic-shaped metal detector, which ended up between his legs. Sexual potency was represented by this object, as if my client had to put his phallus back in its place.
I told the patient, “The happier you are in sex, the more successful you will be in expressing yourself in life. Your relationship with your children will improve. Instead of dwelling on the obligation to be with them, think more about being happy, then you can pass this state on to children.
How to recognize these dreams if at first glance they do not have a definite meaning?
Dreams are always metaphorical, they come in disguise as manifestations of the unconscious to avoid the censorship of the “Super-Self”, our internal security system. The superego will not let too precise information through if it threatens to disrupt the internal order it seeks to dictate.
In 90% of cases, the symbol around which the dream is centered has a certain meaning, but it is ambiguous.
The more internal prohibitions a person has, the more symbols with sexual meaning in his dreams. Interest in them will feed their reality and allow it to evolve.
Dream images are like parables. For example, if a man sees in a dream that he is eating almonds, this corresponds to the fact that he thinks about the female genital organs, which he perceives as something nourishing. The almond, beautiful and nutritious, fits into this metaphor under the sign of the fullness of life. This is a metaphor around organs that are perceived as fertile.
Does the symbol always have the same meaning, regardless of the dreamer?
In 90% of cases, the symbol has a certain meaning, but it has many meanings. When used by the unconscious, there are always meanings associated with it: a needle can have a phallic meaning, but, once in a haystack, it can symbolize an element that is difficult to find, such as the clitoris.
Also in dreams, a play on words is often used. When dreamers tell their dream, they should understand the following: there are, for example, homonyms – words that sound the same but have different meanings (“penis” and “committee member”); paronyms, words with close pronunciation (“tennis” and “penis”) … To correctly analyze a dream, you need to compare all these elements with each other.
About expert
Tristan-Frederick Moire – Jungian analyst. Author of The New Dictionary of Dreams and The Psychoanalytic Interpretation of Dreams.