Sexual abstinence or no longer having sex can be chosen or suffered for different reasons or medically recommended in some cases.

Sexual abstinence refers to the act of depriving oneself of sexual intercourse. This abstinence can be temporary (not having sex before the age of 18 or before marriage for example or before having found a stable partner, during fertile periods if abstinence is used as a means of contraception…), temporary (illness of the partner, pregnancy, or death of the partner, disappointment after a sexual experience…) or permanent (for religious reasons, after an assault…). Sexual abstinence can thus be chosen or imposed. The consequences are not the same depending on whether it is a choice or not.

According to the WHO (2002) definition, “sexual health is a state of physical, emotional, mental and social well-being associated with sexuality”. Sexuality has beneficial effects on health. Sexual activity is physical activity and as such is beneficial. Sex also maintains the heart muscle, arteries and activates blood circulation. Sex also helps flush toxins out of the body through exertion sweating. Sexuality also has an anti-stress effect linked to the production of natural relaxing hormones (such as endorphins or oxytocin). Thus, sexual abstinence can have harmful effects on the body. Masturbation can make up for the lack of shared sexuality.

If it is not wanted, abstinence from sex can create frustration, low self-esteem.

Libido decreases when you stop having sex. This is normal and it is coming back.

Frequent intercourse has been shown to make it easier for women to reach menopause. A 2020 study published in the journal Royal Society Open Science found that having sex at least once a week reduced the chances of entering menopause by 28% compared to women who have sex less than once a week. month. (1)

In men, sexual abstinence could lead to erectile dysfunction. In any case, studies show a lower risk of erectile dysfunction in men who have regular sex. A 2008 review in the American Journal of Medicine found a 50% drop in the risk of erectile dysfunction in men who have regular sex. (2)

Abstinence from sex is a way to prevent unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases. Sexual abstinence can be used to rekindle desire in a couple. This can be a way of arousing desire or arousing libido by making your partner wait. Better that it be decided by a couple and not unilaterally!

Sexual abstinence is chosen by couples as a means of contraception: it is periodic abstinence. The “Ogino method” advocates periodic abstinence on fertile days, calculated from assumed ovulation days. This method based on periodic abstinence consists of avoiding intercourse within 5 days before or after the date of presumed ovulation. Because cycles can be irregular, this method of contraception is unreliable.

Sexual abstinence can be used for medical reasons in cases of infertility. A period of sexual abstinence is necessary before performing a spermogram. This period of sexual abstinence can vary from two to eight days (WHO recommendations). This abstinence makes it possible to have a reflection of the production of spermatozoa and a volume large enough to carry out the analysis. (3) The spermogram makes it possible to study the different components of the sperm (quantity of sperm, number of spermatozoa, mobility of the sperm, existence of abnormal spermatozoa).

On the other hand, abstinence from sex for more than three days before sex to increase the chances of pregnancy would be an illusion. The sperm emitted will have stagnated and will be of lower quality than “fresh” sperm.

Periods of sexual abstinence are possible without endangering the couple, as long as they continue to have intimacy with gestures of tenderness, caresses and kisses. On the other hand, the total suppression of sexuality when the two people of a couple are not in agreement creates an imbalance which can be harmful for the couple if this situation lasts a long time. It can lead to frustration, anger, increased stress levels. It is quite different if the absence of sexuality does not prevent the couple from being happy and fulfilled.

After a long period of abstinence, sexual desire can take a long time to recover.

If the absence of intimate intercourse creates suffering for one of the partners, you can consult a psychologist or a sex therapist to talk about it in order to find solutions.