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Sleeping with Baby, a barrier to intimacy?
As we know, after childbirth, the parents’ sexuality can be somewhat disturbed. If some choose to install their baby’s cradle in the marital room, parents may be forced to sleep in the same room as their baby, for example for lack of space. We can then wonder if such a situation, whether chosen or not, is not an additional brake on the sexual development of young parents. According to sex therapist Gérard Leuleu, this can be a real handicap for the couple’s sexuality. “Parents, who are also lovers, cannot gesticulate as they wish, and fear being seen and heard by the child,” explains the specialist. Suddenly, they tend to control their emotions. ” This creates a real blockage and it is not without effect on the torque. Indeed, “the pleasure is less when you do not dare to express it”, underlines Dr. Leuleu.
As he points out, this problem affects many people and not just young parents who live in a small apartment. “It is love in the city in general that is detrimental to the couple. We are often afraid of being overheard by neighbors and we constantly hold back! », He laments.
How to remain lovers, despite everything?
Maintaining desire is essential within the couple. Despite being promiscuous with your child, know that there are several tips to create intimacy. First of all, Gérard Leuleu advises, if possible, to take the child out of the room by moving the bassinet or cradle in the living room.. You can also “put a screen or removable partitions to separate the two spaces. Also, remember to put on a little music to mask any noises. To spice up your antics with the game while camouflaging the cries, the sex therapist recommends using a pillow. “It is about reinventing one’s sexuality, by creating an imagination of power”, specifies the specialist. Moreover, he insists: “we must not confine ourselves to bed, because the wear and tear of love is monotony. By dint of routine, we kill love ”. For your cuddles and naughty games, therefore vary from room in the house but also the places. You can also meet at the hotel from time to time. “Parents should not hesitate either to entrust the child to grandparents or to friends to have the house just for them, like young lovers”, indicates the sex therapist. In short, plan for moments of intimacy as soon as you can.
What about co-sleeping moms?
Like many pediatricians, Gérard Leuleu advises against co-sleeping for safety reasons, especially choking in the youngest child. Moreover, according to him, “this practice accentuates the mother as a mother to the detriment of her status as a lover. The child will always be tempted to come to the parents’ bed, which is not favorable to the life of a couple. “Parents should be aware that the bed is the hotel of love and the bedroom the temple of love. VSis a sacred place where a loving atmosphere must reign », Underlines the specialist. In order for the couple to reclaim their marital space, it is important to put the child to bed in their own room as soon as possible. It is of course best to have a lock and to teach the child to knock before entering the parents’ room.
What if Baby surprises his parents?
Being caught having sex is one of the main anxieties of young parents. And sometimes it is difficult to find the words to explain things to your child. However, as Gérard Leuleu explains, it is important to talk about it with your little one. Because for him, “these images can be compared to scenes of assault “. In addition, “the toddler, even very young, can perceive the moans or cries associated with the sexual act as violence”, indicates the specialist. For the baby, it feels like a primal scene, which can be traumatic. So take the time to tell him that you are having fun, that you are playing fight. You have to laugh about it and tell him that when two grown-ups love each other, they have fun that way.