Contents
“Help, he doesn’t touch me anymore!” “
The feelings have nothing to do with it! And the turbulence that affects the couple at birth concern… 100% of parents. Man evolves by becoming a father, he becomes aware of his new responsibility facing this (future) baby, and it can freak him out! You become a mother, it impresses him and it is not always easy for him. It’s even a period quite complicated to spend. The important thing, physically and psychologically, is to maintain the desire to want, and to let others know it. You must give your couple time to regain their sexual intimacy.
The psychiatrist’s opinion: “After childbirth, a man sometimes feels very bad about wanting a mother”
“During pregnancy, some future dads have sex with a loss of libido. Others express fear of what the baby may feel during penetration. It is useful to advise them to attend consultations at the gynecologist, because the baby is not the obstacle to sexual intercourse: it is an anatomical fantasy. simple, easily unraveled by consultation. This fear can hide a lack of self-confidence. Also, if you are more committed to having a family than him, because it is time according to the schedule that you have set for yourself, your partner may feel under pressure. The fear of parenthood, a flight from one’s personal history can also explain this lack of attraction. It is important to try to find a proximity of warmth, of sensuality so as not to feel his distance as rejection. After childbirth, it also happens that the man feels very bad to want a mother, it refers to his relationship with his own mother. The important thing is to exchange, to discuss your fears before the situation becomes irritable for the couple! “
Dr Bernard Geberowicz, psychiatrist, couple and family therapist, co-author of “Babyclash, the couple to the test of the child”, Albin Michel.
“The important thing is to exchange, to discuss your fears before the situation does become irritable for the couple! “
The opinion of the sex therapist: “It is important that he leaves the blockage aside, and focuses on his pleasure”
“Your partner may have an erection problem. Erection is not synonymous with desire or envy. He will tell you then that he is tired. In fact, he may feel an emotional fear, an embarrassment stronger than his desire. The pregnant woman scares him but he can’t tell you. And since the body has to function so that the head follows (and not the other way around as we often think), it is important that it leaves the blockage aside, and focuses on its pleasure, its best ally. Most of the time, a vasoactive treatment (one-off) will allow you to have a report. You are then reassured that he still wants you, and you don’t feel rejected. Rarely, a man speaks of the deformed body of the future mother to explain the situation. Just because she’s put on weight doesn’t mean he doesn’t like her body, as women often think. In fact, for a couple to function sexually well, there has to be a shared selfishness. That everyone can take care of their own desire. And this feeds the desire of the other. ”
Dr Sylvain Mimoun, gynecologist andrologist, specialist in sexuality. Author with Rika Étienne from “Côtéheart, sex side, the basics of happiness for two ”, Albin Michel.
“For a couple to function sexually well, there has to be a shared selfishness. That everyone can take care of their own desire. “