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Sex without knowing the pelvic floor? “It’s like putting Robocop to bed with a playmobil”
Gender
Verónica Selis, trainer and specialist in pelvic floor and flexibility, reveals the importance of knowing this area to enjoy sexual intercourse and improve health
The first thing that comes to mind when talking about pelvic floor They are expressions such as “that is a thing for pregnant women and old ladies” or “it serves to cut off the jet of pee.” But all this is very far from reality. Young people in their 20s and both men and women can suffer from dysfunction. What happens is that girls, due to an anatomical issue, have pathologies that are more dangerous, basically because we have a vagina, which is an exit hole through which the pelvic organs (the uterus, bladder or rectum).
Sometimes certain topics become fashionable and there is an excess of information that causes important details to be lost. This is what is happening to this part of our body or at least that’s how it sees it Veronica Selis, body trainer and specialist in pelvic floor and flexibility. Eight years ago he was diagnosed with a dysfunction in this area and from there he began a deep journey of rediscovery with his body.
What is the pelvic floor?
As something very theoretical, it is the set of muscles and connective tissue that closes the pelvis from below and works as a support. But in a broader look, it is necessary to know that the pelvis as a bone structure and the organs that are within it are also part of the pelvic floor, because then everything is going to be involved.
Why should it be strengthened?
If we only think that we have to strengthen it, we fall into a mistake. Ideally, it should have a balance, that can be contracted, but also relax, since it is a passage area that has a closing function so that pee, poop, children, tampax, etc. do not come out, when we do not want to, but also it has to allow exit, be flexible. In addition, if this musculature is not in balance, it cannot perform the function of support and our organs can descend. In boys an excess of tension can cause them to posejaculatory pains, burning … For this reason it is important that it be strong and flexible.
What are the main reasons why it weakens?
Poor posture, because you modify the position of your pelvis and your organs begin to cause weight in places where they should not create constant pressure; bad breath, for not knowing how to manage the change of air; and bad urination or defecation habits, for example, constipation, peeing 80 times just in case …
Food is also important, because it can be inflammatory for the intestines and that these weigh on the entire lower part of our body.
Finally, there would be the lack of knowledge and awareness of this area. Most people when you ask where their pelvic floor is or how it feels, they have no idea. I tell you, open and close your hand and you know how to do it, but if I tell you to contract your pelvic floor, you don’t know. And this is another factor that weakens it the most, because if you don’t know that this area exists, if you don’t feel it, you are doing bad things about this structure without realizing it.
In addition, there are others such as tobacco, alcohol and stress.
How does the pelvic floor influence our sexual relationships?
If I don’t know this area, the same thing happens to my sexual partner, we go to bed and the pleasure is diminished. It is as if we had a potential of 100 and we only explored a 5. Besides, there are people who do not know how to move their pelvis either. So, between the fact that I don’t know my pelvic floor and that I have a rigid pelvis, it’s like putting Robocop to bed with a playmobil. There is little joy there. On the other hand, if the pelvic floor is weakened, your sensitivity capacity will be diminished, because your vagina has to have a tension so that when the penis enters and rubs it makes you feel. On the contrary, if your pelvic floor is under tension, if something enters it will hurt. The lack of lubrication It is also related to a tight pelvic floor.
And in the specific case of the boys?
Helps with erection. If they know it and know how to activate it consciously, they know how to move it, at the time of erection they can send voluntary contractions, help the erection and also have control of their ejaculation, contain the orgasm and do it later.
How does it influence orgasms?
Orgasm is an involuntary contraction of the pelvic floor muscles. If when you are having it you voluntarily move and contract the pelvic floor, that orgasm is tripled. There are also women who do not arrive because they have never touched each other and do not know where the clitoris is (orgasms are produced by direct or indirect stimulation of it) and they think that with penetration they are going to get it and they do not know that this way only a tiny percentage of women climax. Almost all do this with direct clitoral stimulation.
In orgasm your muscles have to go inwards and upwards, because it is contracting, but when there is a dysfunction, there are people who instead of contracting push outwards. Therefore, there are women who have urine losses when they have an orgasm. This is very dangerous, because if you are pushing, you get urine, poop, but you can also get an organ.
And with the rule?
We started giving ibuprofen to girls when they were 12 years old because they tell us that menstrual pain is normal, but with good pelvic health it is reduced by half. There are plenty of remedies, like moving your pelvic floor, to reduce ovarian pain. A tissue that does not move adheres: the uterus and vagina are in motion, but if you do not move this area, it begins to be hard and adhesions are created in the tissue and that is why it hurts.
What exercises can we do to strengthen it?
On the one hand, there are the voluntary contractions: squeeze / contract the pelvic floor, in layers, from more outside to more inside, or hold so many seconds. Moreover, they are made specific respiratory and postural techniques to activate these muscles involuntarily, that is, teach them to work without me having to squeeze. Another basic thing is that your pelvis can move, because if it is hard and rigid it will not allow you to move the pelvic floor. To be sure that you are doing it well, you must go to a physiotherapist who specializes in this matter.
However, you can also try sticking a finger through your vagina. I always recommend that you do your research. If you touch from above, you will feel your uterus. There you have to imagine that you want to pull and squeeze your finger and bring it up (it is easier to stand up) and then when you relax and release you will see how the finger goes out. Is not easy. If you don’t know it and have never felt it, your body will pull your abdomen and buttocks.
What do you think of the fashion for Chinese balls?
There is a problem with them. First they are not a sex toy, it is a weight that you are going to insert into your vagina. Therefore, if I am going to put weight on my pelvic floor, I will first have to know its condition, because if the Chinese ball weighs, for example, 80 grams, how do I know that my pelvic floor can support that weight? If this muscle is weak, two things can happen: either it falls or you start asking your pelvic floor for efforts that it is not used to. And if there is excess tone, it could be aggravated by the use of an inappropriate weight and end in a contracture. Therefore, its use must be prescribed by a professional. It is a treatment that if not used correctly can cause big problems.
Why is there so much ignorance about the pelvic floor?
Because it is just related to topics that it is not well seen to talk about such as pee, poop and sex. We feel uncomfortable because to know this area we have to look at our vulva, feel it, put our fingers in and touch to know where our vagina and uterus are. If I know my anatomy, I will know that my vulva and my vagina are not like yours and that what I like is not what you like. Sex is not putting in and taking out. That is the basics we have learned because our sex education depends on porn and movies, and all of that deviates from reality.