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If you recently separated, and sexual desire has awakened with renewed vigor, the candidacy of the former may be attractive, because you have known each other for a long time and have been close many times. But is it worth going this route?
If this thought came to mind, it means that you are still drawn to a former partner. And at the same time, we must remember that this will no longer be sex with a loved one. It will just be sex. Without commitment, affection, love.
Before throwing yourself into a well-known whirlpool, think about whether a moment of weakness is worth the possible consequences? After all, any parting is a wound. And it’s one thing if you sprinkled it with salt, it’s quite another if your partner holds the salt shaker.
What should you ask yourself before you end up in the same bed with him again?
1. Who initiated the breakup?
If the relationship ended on his initiative, and you are still suffering, sex with him will definitely not help you survive the drama and move on. The inability to emotionally disengage will be the road to more suffering.
2. Why did you split up?
If the problems were so serious that they led to a breakup or divorce, do you really want to make love to him? The person you desire now is the same person you decided not to spend another day together with. Do not console yourself with the illusion that if you share the bed, you will share life with him again.
3. Is he dating anyone else?
Perhaps he is already in a new relationship or managed to make a couple of acquaintances for one night? You think sex will be safe because you know it, but are you sure you know everything? Don’t forget about protective equipment.
4. Do you want to forget him?
If your answer is “yes”, then it is better not to think about sex with him. The more you communicate and the closer this communication is, the more space it takes in your life and the more difficult it will be for you to start a new life alone or with someone else.
5. How much do you respect yourself?
A person with whom you did not want to spend the rest of your life or who did not want to be with you anymore is hardly worthy of being a sex partner without commitment. And you deserve more than satisfying his physical needs.
6. What do you expect?
If, after a breakup, you completed dozens of sex trainings and mastered mind-blowing techniques, this will not return his love for you. The worst that can happen is that he wants to continue sleeping with you until he loves someone else.
About the author: Cathy Meyer is a relationship coach and co-founder of DivorcedMoms.