Sex: what can prevent a woman from enjoying

1. Vaginismus

This is an involuntary spasmodic contraction of the muscles of the perineum, which makes penetration into the vagina impossible. Vaginismus is associated with 10-15% of all visits to gynecologists. There are two types of vaginismus: primary and secondary. Primary is expressed in the complete closure of the vagina when a foreign body approaches – a penis, a finger, or some object. Secondary vaginismus can occur as a defensive reaction after trauma – rape, childbirth, surgery.

What all women with vaginismus have in common, however, is a misfunctioning mental image of their own body. The genital area, in particular the vagina, is not visualized, as if these organs do not exist at all. Often, the mothers of many of them were overprotective of their daughters, unceremoniously interfering in their lives, and psychological protection eventually degenerated into a muscle reflex that closes the vagina from penetration.

Sometimes vaginismus is selective: with some men, penetration is possible, while with others it is not. But women, as if on purpose, choose the latter as life partners. The task of a sexologist is to teach the patient to relax her muscles and relieve mental stress, accept her emotions, feel her body as a whole.

Learning to open the vagina, as we open our hands, to then squeeze in the arms of a loved one, is a skill that will come in handy for women. Vaginismus is not a shameful disease or a curse. It can be successfully treated, especially if you do not delay the appeal to a specialist.

2. Dyspareunia

We are talking about painful sensations that occur at the time of penetration. Sexual intercourse is possible, but accompanied by pain. Over time, sexual contacts become less frequent: fear and expectation of pain make you avoid sex.

Pain may be felt at the entrance to the vagina, in the vagina itself, or in the lower abdomen. In the first case, it may be the result of a local infection or occur as a result of drying of the mucosa, as a consequence of a surgical operation or urinary tract infection.

Most often, infections are caused by an imbalance in the vaginal microflora. When the natural flora is suppressed under the influence of hygienic and medical preparations, the inflammation passes into a chronic phase. In this case, the tissues become very vulnerable, the slightest friction causes pain.

Sometimes the pain associated with vaginal penetration is felt in the lower abdomen. This happens after a difficult birth, if there is a rupture of the ligaments that support the uterus. The cause may also be inflammation of the fallopian tubes, ovarian cyst, endometriosis, and even bartholinitis – inflammation of one of the Bartholin glands located on both sides of the vagina.

Whatever the cause, dyspareunia should not be tolerated. Chronic pain causes our brain to remember the pain program and trigger it when we try to have sex. Alas, women tend to endure pain and do not consider it necessary to pay attention to it, turning to specialists very late.

3. Lack of natural lubrication

Moisturizing the mucosa in women is an analogue of an erection in men: it is a manifestation and a consequence of arousal. The vagina, moist by nature, is additionally moistened when aroused, allowing the penis to more easily perform frictions and not irritate the mucous membrane.

Lack of vaginal lubrication can be caused by infection, inflammation of the genitals, the consequences of childbirth, complications after surgery, intimate hygiene products, the use of a condom without lubricant …

There are also hormonal reasons: for example, birth control pills directly affect the production of vaginal secretions. And finally, if a woman does not dare to ask her partner to take into account her rhythm and agrees to penetration, being not yet physiologically ready for it, it can be difficult and painful.

In case of insufficient natural hydration, you can use a lubricant gel, milk or oil for the care of babies. If the problem persists, you need to contact a gynecologist to determine and eliminate its cause.