Today it is not customary to postpone sex until marriage. And if before such a connection before marriage was condemned, now it’s the other way around — it seems strange to many to wait even a few dates before trusting each other. But is it always necessary to focus on these unspoken norms, and what will happen if closeness is put aside for a while?
«I’m going crazy imagining his kisses!» — Olga is 34 years old, she talks about Victor, whom she met recently. They felt they were made for each other. But both are married. Victor has a teenage son, Olga has no children. The first time she came to me just for this reason: “Maybe give up and give birth?” I pointed out to her that «surrender» is not a word that speaks of desire. She decided to wait with the pregnancy. And here is the meeting.
“But we will not become lovers until we complete our relationship with our spouses,” Olga continues, blushing slightly.
“That’s unusual,” I reply. “You’ve already had hobbies in the past.
— Victor is not a hobby, this is serious. And he himself said: «I’d rather never hug you as a lover than lose the opportunity to hug you as a friend.»
Olga sued her husband, Victor was worried about his son, everyone was afraid that the other would not stand it or lose that bright attraction that they felt for each other.
It’s not about when the intimacy happens. It’s about how much two people trust themselves and each other.
«What if Victor doesn’t make up his mind?» I ask, and Olga answers firmly:
I will leave my husband anyway. You can live with the unloved when you don’t know what love is. But then it’s just not possible.
Finally, Victor also divorced. And only then did the long-awaited sex happen. Olga later suggested that they come to the reception together. Well, sometimes a client wants to share not a problem, but a joy! They shine and tenderly hold hands. The air seems to be charged with erotic electricity. They tell “how it was”, without details, but also without embarrassment.
— As for the first time, — says Olga, smiles and adds: — Even better.
I ask how they managed to endure for so long.
“It was a test,” Victor admits, “but I’m glad I passed it. I wanted to do only what Olya would like!
Now they have been married for over a year and are happy. Can we conclude that postponing sex is right? Of course not. Once upon a time, communication before marriage was condemned by society. Today sex is approved. And many have a new fear: if there is no sex, will the relationship develop? What if your partner loses interest? They feel compelled to go to bed. But sex is a right, not a duty! It can happen on the first date. Or it can “hang”, adding charge to the relationship. It’s not about when it happens. It’s about how much two people trust — themselves and each other.