Female desire, and female sexuality more broadly, is the subject of many misconceptions. Wrongly considered rare and difficult to decipher, women’s desire and their relationship to sex is often surrounded by myths. Here are our tips for understanding female desire and its mechanisms.

Desire refers to the motivations that drive us to have sex. In other words, it is about the libido, or the sexual appetite, but also the strong impulses that one can feel sometimes. This sexual appetite varies depending on the person, age, mood, etc. Thus, sex is not a fundamentally determining factor: there is no real difference between female desire and male desire. These are other factors which are more decisive in analyzing these differences.

Desire activates sexual arousal, but does not necessarily precede it. Indeed, it is possible to start a sexual activity without feeling a particular desire, and to start developing it once you are aroused.

Finally, desire also conditions the fantasies and the behavior that one will adopt during sexual intercourse: eroticism, etc. 

A misconception, which has persisted for centuries, is that men are naturally more attracted to sex than women. This penchant for intercourse would make their sexual appetite higher than that of women. However, we know today that this is false, and that the female sexual desire works the same as the male. Both women and men have cravings, fantasies and desires that fluctuate over the course of life.

Likewise, from this misconception arises the myth according to which women who have a strong desire are rare. Here too, it has been proven that this is a received idea. There are as many sexually active women as there are men, and this is often balanced within couples. 

In both men and women, sexual desire manifests itself through physical and physiological signs. Thus, the desire initially provokes an attraction. When we want someone, we are sexually attracted to this person, or a detail in this person (the voice, the smell, the face, etc.) This attraction then acts as a kind of magnet, which urges us to experience sexual desire.

Finally, desire is also at the origin of sexual activation, which can be translated by arousal. This phase is the preparatory period before intercourse, which prepares the body and mind for sexual activity. In men, arousal results in hardening of the penis. In women, although the signs are more discreet visually, the excitement is also present physically (sweaty hands, feeling of heat, rapid heartbeat, etc.) and mentally. 

The female sex is not reduced to the vagina. Indeed, women have an organ dedicated entirely to pleasure, the clitoris. The latter has most of it inside the body, and the outer area, the glans, is only a tiny part of its length. This acorn, which is surrounded by a cap, is located at the top of the labia minora. Highly sensitive (about 3 times more than a penis) due to the many nerve endings present, it allows you to reach orgasm quickly when it is stimulated by the hands, the tongue or a vibrator.

For its part, the vagina is also a primary erogenous zone. However, it is attached to the clitoris, since the latter has internal ramifications that surround the vagina. Vaginal stimulation can be done by penetration through a penis, with an object, fingers or during cunnilingus.

Finally, do not forget the anus, which is also a very sensitive erogenous zone, as well as the labia majora and the vulva, which are areas to favor when caressing. 

We often hear that there is a vaginal orgasm and a clitoral orgasm. Yet, as we have seen, the two are correlated. Thus, the female orgasm can be achieved by stimulating the clitoris, the vagina, but also other erogenous zones such as the anus, or the breasts and buttocks. It is the multiple stimulation of all these areas, coupled with other contacts such as kissing, pinching or spanking, that increases the arousal and can lead to orgasm.

All women being different, it is difficult to establish a precise course of sexual intercourse. Focus on your partner’s entire body, and listen to their pleasure. As with men, arousal gradually rises, and orgasm is reached when the most intense sensations are combined, by stimulating the erogenous zones.