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Only 3% of our countries are ready to entrust sexual education to schools, and 9% believe that a teenager’s homosexuality should be punished physically. Here are the main findings from the survey on sex education in the family
The study was conducted by the Mikhailov & Partners agency as part of the sociological project We Count. Trends spoke to experts to find out what they think about it.
About the experts:
- Lisa Lazerson, director, journalist;
- Elena Feigin, scientist, cognitive-behavioral and family therapist, doctoral student at the Sigmund Freud University (Vienna), founder of the Relationship Research Institute;
- Ilya Khlomov, Gestalt therapist, specialist at the Perekrestok adolescent adaptation center.
How parents and children view sex education
- 81% of those surveyed consider sex education to be very important for a child’s development. At the same time, half (51%) believe that both parents should take part in it, and 28% would prefer a parent of the same gender as the child to do this. Only 5% are ready to entrust this issue to psychologists, and 3% to school.
- 63% of respondents believe that sexual education of a child should begin before the age of 12. But only a third thinks that by this age the child has already decided on sexual orientation, and 40% are sure that this does not happen before the age of 15-18.
- 46% named sex and relationships as one of the topics that must be discussed with children in the process of education, 40% named sexual orientation. Moreover, the last question worries the older generation (31-55 years old) more than young people (14-30 years old): among the former, 45% want to discuss it, and among the latter, only 36%.
Lisa Lazerson:
“The fact that only 3% of parents are ready to entrust sex education to schools is not due to global distrust, but to the fact that now it is presented in terrible formats that are more likely to harm. If schools had normal sex education classes, which I actively advocate, things would be different.”
Ilya Khokhlov:
“It seems to me important that this study is not about real experience, but about fantasies and representations. That being said, I was surprised that so many parents are concerned about sex education. In my experience, the Internet does it for them, along with their peers, or whatever they find themselves – including porn.”
Elena Feigin:
“I believe that you can start talking about boundaries, desires and coordination of actions from about 6 years old, not necessarily with the mention of sex. It would be good to introduce sex education into the school curriculum, at least its social component.”
Relationships and marriage
- 54% of parents of children over 12 interfere in their personal relationships. At the same time, the children themselves talk about this less often: most likely, they simply do not consider the statements of adults to be direct interference and do not take them seriously.
- 62% of parents say 18 is the optimal age for marriage, and 58% the age of consent. Among the younger generation, 36% believe that this age should come earlier.
- 72% are sure that a family cannot do without children. Among parents, only 19% expressed the opposite point of view, while among 14-30-year-olds, 30% think so.
- 69% of respondents are against having children brought up in a same-sex marriage. By age, the shares were distributed as follows: the older generation – 75%, young people – 65%. At the same time, 75% are in favor of the fact that it is quite possible to raise a child in an incomplete family.
Sexual orientation and gender identity
- Both the younger and older generations demonstrate approximately the same level of enlightenment in matters of gender identity (18% know what it is) and transgender transition (14%). The exceptions were the words “coming out” (16% and 9%, respectively), “non-binary person” (9% and 4%) and “genderfluid” (3% and 1%): they turned out to be much more understandable for young people than for parents .
- 33% of parents believe that children do not need to be specially told about such things – they already know everything. The need for education in this area is supported by 24% of parents aged 31-55 and 17% of young people.
- 83% of respondents aged 14-30 noted that among their relatives there is no one who would identify themselves as another sex other than the biological one. 12% are familiar with non-binary personalities, but more often not in person (5%), but in social networks (7%). 86% of parents do not know about such people around their children.
- 89% are not ready for their child to give up their gender identity in accordance with their biological sex. 26% do not know how to act in such a situation. 33% of those surveyed would turn to a psychologist, and among the older generation, there are already 41% of such people. 11% would resort to the help of a psychiatrist, 7% would apply strict control, and 5% would limit the child’s sexual contacts. 9% were in favor of physically punishing a child for being homosexual.
Ilya Khokhlov:
“I think there is a lot of fear and anxiety around this topic. But they are not connected with the fact that the child will be somehow different, but with how he can survive in a society where in some regions this can be punishable by death. Fear is the main limiting factor for the development of tolerance and a sober view of education.
Elena Feigin:
“The paradigm does not change quickly: society must be prepared to accept each other’s differences and not be afraid of them. An aggressive reaction is formed, first of all, by fear of the incomprehensible. Therefore, the more information is freely available, the kinder we will be to each other.”