Sex and confidence

Movies, magazines, advertising posters show us images of ideal women — comparing ourselves with them, we find many shortcomings. Someone throws us an offensive phrase, and we believe it. We think we know what others think of us. We begin to be ashamed or ashamed of our figure, our appearance. This prevents you from enjoying your sexuality.

Lou Paget is a sexologist from California, she has been leading sexuality seminars around the world for 15 years, talking with couples, analyzing their relationships. Her advice will help even the most shy. Here is what she says:

1. The best lovers don’t have perfect bodies.

The point is not in the figure, but in the fact that they are delighted with their partner and really want to be with him. Lovers are full of enthusiasm, and even if they do not know exactly how to behave, they are ready to meet what is happening. They are laughing. They don’t take themselves too seriously.

Trust me, your partner is not in bed with your cellulite or your hips, but with you. Be sure he likes your forms. Most of the men I interviewed said they prefer to be with women who feel confident.

We all respond to compliments, a warm look, or tokens of gratitude. If they say to you: “Oh, there is something special about you,” frankly, it doesn’t matter to you what is said, you are just glad that you were given attention.

Good lovers touch each other a lot. This is one of the best ways to tell your partner that they are special. Think about it. When you allow someone to touch you, it is more eloquent than any words. This person is special, you chose him.

Touch is not only the beginning of sex. As you pass by your partner, lightly squeeze his shoulder or arm. One man said to me: “When I am touched like that, I feel loved, this is an unexpected caress intended only for me.”

All their lives, men are looking for a woman who will touch them the way they want. When a woman approaches and hugs her partner, she kind of tells him about his attractiveness and hints at what might happen next.

Analyze your personal experience. Surely you will find that your best partners were those who paid you the most attention.

2. Try to understand how you look in the eyes of your friend

Most women are interested in how their partner sees them. Stand undressed in front of a large mirror, take different poses and try to imagine what your friend sees. If you feel like screaming in panic: “Oh my God, not that!” Think about what position you look most advantageous in. This will make you feel more natural, and it will be easier for you to create the right environment.

You will be surprised when you find out that your partner loves the parts of your body that you hate the most. A woman’s lover told her, «I like the shape of your buttocks.» The woman most of all hated this particular part of her body, considering her buttocks to be too large, while her partner was precisely this aroused.

If you’re worried that your breasts aren’t firm enough, wear a soft, push-up bra. Scars and scars will disappear under a bathrobe or house dress. Corsets and graces will do wonders for your waist. Borrow lighting ideas from films. Aim the light in a way that makes you look your best — backlighting is the most effective.

One man said that his sexiest girlfriend always left some piece of clothing on herself while making love. Take advantage of this advice. We need to see ourselves the way our partner sees us. Remember that when he is around, you are in his line of sight.

3. You and only you are responsible for how you feel.

Only you know how to make yourself feel good. You can enjoy a glass of wine or a massage, meditation or yoga.

Are you following yourself? It is impossible to feel great if you do not pay attention to yourself. Cleanliness and freshness of the body, as well as clothes, gives you additional self-confidence. Don’t let the scale decide if you’re attractive or not.

4. There is nothing sexier than confidence.

Nothing is more attractive than a person who likes his body. The result is sexual confidence, which is the most exciting thing a woman or a man can have.

I’m not talking about defiant behavior, but about calm, palpable confidence. When you show your sexual energy, you have a special quality that draws people to you.

Sex requires the ability to give and take. When a woman makes a man understand that he brings her great pleasure, she can gently guide his actions in the way she likes best.

If a woman herself enjoys her body, loves it and takes care of it, it will be easier for her to evoke the same feelings in her partner. And she will accept his desire to possess this body and be with her not with embarrassment or excessive gratitude, but with pleasure and calm self-confidence.

5. The ad shows a body that doesn’t really exist.

This is an artificial product. We compare ourselves with the ideal images of young women who have never conceived, never given birth, never fed a child, who have had no health problems, quarrels with relatives, stress at work and menopause.

When we see explicit scenes in movies, we know it’s unrealistic: people can’t have an orgasm at the same time in two minutes. Real sex is more awkward, sometimes funny, sometimes monotonous — so why should we believe that perfect bodies exist?

What you see on the screens is a collective image of male fantasies. Digital equipment allows you to bring these images to perfection. Photos in magazines have little to do with reality.

Make-up artists and stylists work on the appearance of the model, the illuminators put on a special light, and after shooting from hundreds of shots, one is chosen, and retouchers are taken to work. You will never meet this woman on the street. If you want to see what’s real, go to the gym.