Do you dream of a job that will give you something more than just a salary? Want to end old relationships and start new ones? Have you been thinking about doing what you love for a long time, but still do not dare? A few tips from Barbara Sher to help you start living the life you love.
1. Get a personal dream. If you’re not born with a passion for helicopters, yachts, and big houses, don’t let others impose their ideas of the good life on you. Our addictions are as unique as fingerprints, and no one but you has a clue what you need to be happy.
2. Find a calling. We are born to realize what is given to us. It is impossible to be happy without this. We are rarely helped to find our talents and almost never told how to develop them. At least it is not taught in the same way as reading, counting or driving. That is why it is so difficult to respond to the «call of the soul» and write a novel, learn a new language, take up photography.
You must do what you have a talent for. Not that you are good at it: most of our skills are nothing more than abilities that we have developed just because they are useful.
How to find out what you are gifted by nature? Think about the activities that made you happy in the past or that make you happy now. It doesn’t matter how well you do them.
3. Decide on an incentive. We are taught that we need to develop character, to control ourselves, not to succumb to laziness and fear — they say, this is the only way to achieve the goal. But this approach is far from universal.
For some, a reward helps, such as a promise to buy yourself a new outfit if you manage to lose five kilograms. Others are spurred on by criticism, they do a lot of things «weakly». Tell such a person: “You will never climb this mountain,” he will immediately grit his teeth and climb up.
We are all different, and so are our incentives. Just look for yours.
4. Surround yourself with allies. To take the first step towards a dream, you need a sense of confidence and security. It takes courage, and that comes from knowing you’re not alone. Right now, you need a support group, allies who believe in you and notice your talent. It is especially important that they are there at first, when you are still not really sure of your own gift.
It doesn’t take much from them — just to accept you as you are, give advice, help you stay on the path to your dream and come to the rescue whenever you need it.
5. Understand your feelings. They can become a compass that points you in the right direction, or they can become a heavy load that makes you stagnate. If you notice that you often interfere with yourself or simply don’t know what you really want, you need to listen to your feelings and sort them out.
6. Get rid of junk. Dreams need space.
It is impossible to build something new if your present is littered with deeds and obligations. When there is no free time and space, when the house is full of magazines and books that need to be read, projects that should have been completed a long time ago, our imagination simply has nowhere to turn around.
7. Set a goal and start working on it in the next three days. Mark the date on the calendar when you will actively begin to implement your plan — no later than three days later.
You will need two days for fear and rebellion. Complain to your friends. Pour your soul on paper. Take a look around, inspect the dwelling, in which it is time to rake up the rubbish, free up space for work. On the third day, get down to business.
No need to empty your bank account and quit right now. Start with small steps that will gradually lead to a dream.
Don’t wait for the «perfect moment» — you’ve already spent a lot of time and energy contemplating a new, wonderful life. It’s time to act. Write a list of tasks, and next to each of them — at least an approximate date.
It doesn’t matter if you’re ready or not. The moment you see a tempting goal and go to it, your new, better life has already begun.