PSYchology

How often do we say to ourselves and others: «I don’t know what to do, what to do.» This happens because the injured part of the ego blocks our actions, protecting us from possible disappointments and failures. It is the experiences of childhood traumas that determine most of the stereotypes of behavior in adulthood. We depend on the decisions we made as children. Can this circle be broken?

Sooner or later, we face a choice: happiness and inner freedom or being on the sidelines of life, nurturing childhood resentments and fears, betraying our true essence? We make such choices every day in our thoughts, emotions, and actions. Experiencing negative emotions, we make negative decisions that lead to negative results. We repeat the same mistakes. To break this circle, try to take seven steps that will help you finally choose happiness and success and fix the choice on an unconscious level.

Step 1: Become aware of your limiting attitudes

Usually these are the instructions and prohibitions of parents and other family members adopted in childhood. To become aware of them, write down your negative thoughts about yourself, people and the world, and then the negative statements of loved ones. See if there are repeated phrases.

Step 2: Articulate Negative Beliefs in a Positive Way

The unconscious does not perceive the “not” particle, therefore, when formulating positive attitudes, it is important to avoid it, get rid of negatively colored words. Not «I’m skinny», but «I’m slim». Cross out each phrase that contains a negative attitude and write down a positive alternative — an affirmation.

Step 3: Forgive and Accept Yourself

Repeat these phrases in the morning for 40 days, preferably in front of a mirror. It is worth starting with phrases that do not cause rejection or doubt. At this stage, we learn to forgive and accept ourselves. The specified period is usually enough for new stable neural connections to be created and thoughts to become unconscious. I usually end the exercise with a phrase from Louise Hay: “I love and accept you just the way you are. What can I do for you today?”

Step 4: Forgive and Accept the Loved Ones Who Hurt You

For many, this is the most difficult task. At this step, you need to explore the past of the family. When we understand that parents were in some way victims of their parents or life circumstances, it becomes easier to accept and forgive them, and this brings relief and a tremendous boost of energy.

Step 5: restore energy potential

For years, we spend energy on resentment, arguments that destroy relationships. You need to get rid of harmful thoughts, but it is even more important to understand what gives you energy. For me, this is a full sleep, an early rise, Chopin music, clean drinking water in large quantities, mint tea, hot showers, balanced meals, yoga, meditation. Make a list of «energizers» and fit them into your routine.

Step 6: Formulate New Goals

Realizing that we are worthy of love and respect, have always done the right thing, we are ready to move on. Assess the five main areas of your life:

  • health (body, mind);
  • family (partners, children, parents);
  • connections (social, professional);
  • finance (salary, business, investments);
  • knowledge (education, languages, skills).

Ask yourself: what do I want? Why do I need it? What is my uniqueness? What do I need to know? Who do you need to interact with? What should I do? What’s stopping me? How will I know that I have reached my goal?

Step 7: Test Your Goals

Write the answers to the questions above on A4 paper. Lay the sheets on the floor at a step distance from each other. You should have a smooth path leading to an imaginary goal in the following sequence: environment (what is my new environment?), actions (what do I need to do?), knowledge (what do I need to know?), identity (what is my uniqueness? ), values ​​(why do I need this?), vision (what do I really want?), symbols (what does my new goal look, smell, taste and sound like?).

The symbols with which you have connected your goal will activate chains of the necessary connections and images in your brain.

As you move from sheet to sheet, answer these questions and track the sensations. Then walk this path in reverse order, asking the same questions. Feel how sensations, vision, identity, environment change. From that moment on, the symbols with which you connected your goal will activate chains of the necessary connections and images in your brain. This method is based on the pyramid of neurological levels by Robert Dilts. It opens the way to our unconscious world, establishes a connection between the conscious and unconscious parts of the brain.

The path consisting of these seven steps will not be fast, but it will bring qualitative changes into your life, making it more fulfilling and happy.

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