Our ideas about ourselves, others, the world, and God are always self-fulfilling prophecies and self-fulfilling predictions. Wise men have noticed this for a long time. And modern brain sciences have begun to actively confirm this paradigm: first the word, and then the reality corresponding to this word!
Therefore, friends, we follow our thoughts, we predict something good for ourselves. This is especially acute in the world of relationships, because there self-prophecies come true almost instantly. What they said to themselves, they got it, especially if they actively made efforts to put this thought into the head of their loved one.
“Have you noticed how our relationship is deteriorating, how you are paying less and less attention to me …?” If until this moment he or she did not notice, if they considered this to be insignificant quarrels and just their big busyness, then I congratulate you, my dear respected soothsayers, soon he or she will notice it. Because the brain has recorded your passionate monologue on the subcortex and will issue a tough command to its owner: “pay as little attention as possible to this person”! Its main task is to ensure that the mental picture in no way diverges from the real one, so that there is no cognitive dissonance! And the brain will follow this methodically! Did you achieve this? Not? Then eliminate the speeches that describe the negative reality.
Tell your partner about all the good things you notice between you. And program, program him or her for a happy future with you.
“You don’t give me enough time…” is not our turn of phrase, it is a little effective need, but a very effective self-triggering prophecy.
What will be the positive and instructive programming of a partner who has fallen into the role of «separate»?
“Have you noticed that as soon as you have a free minute, are you in a hurry to see me?”, “Do you know how great it is — together to the dacha, to the river, on a trip …”, “You see what you have with me everything works out much better?”
To the place said smart verbal constructions work wonders))))