Self-blame is anger and dissatisfaction with oneself, fruitless gnawing at oneself for accidentally made mistakes. The mild form is to blame oneself, the hard form is self-accusations, the dreary form is the habit of dramatizing one’s mistakes and constantly driving the same joyless thoughts in a circle…
Samoyedism usually performs the function of children’s psychological protection: «if I punish myself, I free myself from punishment by others.» Self-blame is sometimes confused with introspection and self-criticism, which is not true. More precisely, illiterate introspection and unconstructive self-criticism, multiplied by the habit of taking care of oneself, is self-blame.
Honesty in relation to oneself and the ability to impartially call oneself negative epithets for committed stupidities and mistakes, if this helps you act more accurately next time — not self-blame, but a normal demanding attitude towards yourself. characteristic of an adult, strong person. «Well, I’m an idiot! Think, think, don’t get distracted!» — perhaps this is not the most constructive internal dialogue, but this is not self-criticism. Samoyedism is called that which is not constructive, that which does not help.
In a certain culture, self-eating is a refined entertainment, a variant of masochism and a part of a lifestyle that one can once stand out with, considering it intellectual aristocracy … — in modern entertainment culture, people often look for rather unusual forms of entertaining themselves. Outside the sphere of refined entertainment, people engage in self-blame without any pleasure, additionally scolding themselves for being self-blame.
Self-criticism is usually practiced by those who do not know how to be constructive, who do not know the basics of managing people and internally consider this form of self-criticism justified, even when they see it as ineffective. More literate people know that it is more effective to correct their mistakes not by scolding themselves, but by actions, correcting the situation, combining this with an analysis of the cause of the mistake made and conclusions for the future. To be angry with oneself is not only unnecessary, but also interferes with correct conclusions. A person in a calm and reasonable state thinks better.
How to deal with selfishness? — The question is wrong, never fight against.
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