Self-confidence – advantages, impact on life. How to build self-confidence?

Self-confidence is one of the features that definitely helps you stand out at work and in the company. It affects many areas of our lives. It helps you get your dream job, meet an attractive partner or partner, prove yourself right in the event of a conflict, or simply fight for yours.

Self-confidence – what is it?

Self-confidence is a state (or according to other definitions, an attitude, a trait) in which we feel good about ourselves, we are confident in our self-esteem and our own competences, we accept ourselves and believe in our abilities. It is an attitude that makes life easier, and at the same time a kind of mirror in which we view ourselves and know what our attitude towards ourselves is. No wonder that this behavior trait has been of interest to psychologists for years and they have analyzed the factors influencing it. And there are, unfortunately, many of them.

See also: Psychologist – characteristics, competences, indications for a visit

The most important factors influencing self-confidence

Many researchers have analyzed a number of factors that influence self-confidence. Unfortunately, self-confidence is a trait that is often shaped over the yearsand it can be influenced by both internal and external factors. Especially when we mean deep and true self-confidence as our trait, and not the attitude that we temporarily assume or try to develop in certain situations.

Real, deep and constant self-confidence comes primarily from being self-aware of your own thoughts and feelings. It would seem ridiculous, but many people deceive themselves, make decisions based on false premises, and cannot get to their inner self and the true feelings of their own self.

The second fundamental and necessary quality on the way to self-confidence is self-acceptance. We can’t build confidence if we don’t accept ourselves as we are. Of course, this does not mean that we do not have to work on ourselves – it will also help us to be aware of our weaknesses and strengths. However, this means that we accept ourselves as a whole, even though we are working on the details. Moreover, self-confidence comes not only from self-acceptance, but also from self-satisfaction, trust and confidence in oneself and one’s abilities, and a deep sense of self-worth.

There is no need to convince anyone that self-esteem is the basis of all positive actions. It is an essential feature of every human being. Each of us strives to feel like a person of value and is acutely affected by the disturbances of this sense. Self-esteem itself is a trait that is influenced by a number of different factors and conditions. Without it, we cannot create true self-confidence. P.

Moreover, we can only develop self-confidence if we feel responsible for ourselves – taking responsibility for our lives in our own hands means that we can change what we want in this life.

Find out more: Assertiveness – how to learn it? Exercises and assertiveness training

How to increase self-confidence – will exercise help?

Self-confidence comes from many factors and it is very often not easy to get this trait. People who are shy, lost or who do not have a solid basis for generating self-confidence often ask whether self-confidence can be developed and how to increase it? Of course, there is such a possibility, and many psychologists propose exercises and ways to increase your self-confidence.

However, no exercise in the long run will help if we don’t focus on strengthening the pillars of self-confidence, which are, above all, self-awareness, self-esteem, self-confidence and self-confidence – it is these features that we should first of all pay attention to, look for exercises to strengthen them and consider what lies at the root of the problem. Only by tackling the root cause of the problem with self-confidence will the desired long-term results be achieved.

In order to diagnose what is really causing the shaky self-confidence, it may be necessary not only to take a close look at yourself, but also to help third parties who perceive us from the outside a little differently. It is worth talking about it with someone you trust or using the help of a specialist – a psychologist or psychotherapist.

Also read: Peter Pan syndrome – origin, symptoms, relationships

Self-confidence and the influence of the environment

Many factors contribute to the development of self-confidence. It should be noted here that the attitude of the parents is crucial how children see themselves, especially in the early years of life. When parents ensure acceptance, children get a solid basis for expressing positive feelings about themselves. If one or both parents are overly critical or demanding, or if they are overprotective and discourage the pursuit of independence, children may believe that they are clumsy, unhelpful or worse than others. However, if parents encourage their children to be independent and accept and love their children, even when they make mistakes, children will learn to accept themselves and will be well on their way to developing self-confidence.

Surprisingly, a lack of self-confidence doesn’t necessarily come with a lack of skill. Instead, it is often the result of focusing too much on the unrealistic expectations or standards of others, especially parents and society. The influence of friends can be just as powerful or stronger than the influence of parents and society in shaping how we view ourselves. Students in college re-analyze certain values ​​and develop their own identity, which makes them particularly vulnerable to the influence of friends.

Worth knowing: How to arouse your inner optimist and stop worrying?

Why is self-confidence so important?

Some people are negatively affected by a lack of self-confidence, although others may feel satisfied even when they lack confidence in certain areas of their lives. Researchers and other experts point out that it is not really necessary to be confident in every aspect of life, especially when our self-esteem is well developed.

However, some people who lack self-confidence may struggle with problems with assertiveness, communication skills or social anxiety (social phobia). Deficiencies in these areas can cause a dissonance in career, relationships, and state of mind. Some people may feel inferior or useless, have little motivation, have no purpose in life, or experience bitterness and resentment towards others.

Working to develop greater self-confidence can be beneficial for many people, as self-confidence can not only prevent difficulties in these areas of life, but also help improve mental and emotional well-being. Self-confidence has a positive effect on aspects such as those listed below.

1. Self-esteem and well-being – self-confidence can cyclically affect your well-being. In other words, the more confident people feel, the more likely they are to take risks to improve their situation. The more often they take that risk, the more likely they are to be successful. The more successful they are, the better they will feel and think about themselves. This can turn into a self-sustaining cycle that promotes overall life satisfaction.             
2. empowerment – self-confidence can affect the sense of self-efficacy. The more a person believes in himself, the more that person may feel, especially when trying new things. Self-confidence can also affect a person’s ability to achieve personal goals. Challenges often seem less daunting thanks to past successes, making many people in control of their future.
3. Reduce anxiety – a confident attitude can help people feel better at overcoming obstacles. As a result, they may be less confused by new challenges and experience less fear and anxiety about unfamiliar situations. Confident people may be more likely to embark on new adventures with a positive outlook than with fear, expecting to learn something valuable and benefit from the experience.
4. Reduce stress and increase energy – people who are self-confident may be less likely to experience anxiety and doubt about their own goals and actions, and therefore may experience less stress. Greater peace of mind can be facilitated by an energetic lifestyle focused on happiness and achieving goals.
5. Better interpersonal relationships – if self-confidence promotes happiness, it results from the fact that it can improve the quality of interpersonal relationships. Because people who experience self-confidence tend to trust themselves and their abilities, they may feel stronger and more successful than those who lack self-confidence. These traits can also facilitate success in a relationship, as self-confidence can increase a person’s ability to focus their energies on the needs of others, not just their own. This self-sufficiency can lead to balanced, strong relationships.
6. Success – a typical human goal is success. The more a person achieves, the more skills he acquires. When people consistently fail, they can become fearful and / or feel subdued. Self-confidence can “lay the groundwork” on the path to success, providing people with the tools they need to develop self-confidence.

Building self-confidence

Many different factors affect your overall sense of confidence in life. Children of confident parents are more likely to grow up to be confident adults, perhaps because their parents were their role models. Earlier experience of success can also increase self-confidence, but not all successful people feel confident. Low self-confidence can affect the way other people perceive us and can influence our behavior. People who experience chronically low self-confidence can benefit from psychotherapy.

Self-confidence is a trait that people can generally learn and develop, and any of the following strategies can help increase self-confidence:

1. blocking negative thoughts People can learn to think differently and change their view of new or disturbing experiences. Some may achieve this on their own, but a doctor or therapist, especially trained in cognitive behavioral therapy, can be very helpful. With a determined mind, people can often reduce pessimistic thoughts, which in turn can prevent them from realizing their full range of abilities and / or potential.
2. assertiveness training – when people are assertive, they are often better at meeting their needs. Assertiveness training can not only improve your confidence, it can also help you with social anxiety, depression and anger issues.
3. building self-esteem – when self-esteem increases, it usually goes hand in hand with self-confidence. Self-esteem-building activities, such as listing personal strengths and achievements, practicing self-acceptance, or developing specific plans for areas of weakness, can be effective in building self-esteem and confidence.
4. positive affirmations – many mental health practitioners believe that replacing negative thoughts with positive affirmations is a more effective practice than simply dismissing certain thoughts. Research has shown that talking to yourself positively can improve your overall health and well-being, and that self-confidence, which represents confidence in your own abilities, can be increased by telling yourself positively about these abilities.
5. goal setting and reward – incentives can help people achieve as many goals as they want, and the process of building self-confidence is no different. People can set realistic goals for themselves to build confidence and use rewards to reinforce the positive meaning of their achievements. For example, a person may spend several hours doing activities that he or she enjoys after successfully overcoming a difficult situation.
6. mental health counseling and support – psychologists and therapists provide support to those who want to build their self-confidence. Therapeutic sessions can be a safe space for people to work on their confidence at their own pace.

Can Self Confidence Improve Mental Health?

While studies explaining the effects of self-confidence on mental health are somewhat limited, a study of students’ emotional intelligence found a positive correlation between confidence and mental health. It is known that positive thinking is beneficial for mental and emotional well-being, as well as increasing self-confidence.

Therapy can be helpful in increasing your self-confidence. Mental health professionals can support people in learning to block negative thoughts, process past trauma that has led to low self-confidence, give meaning to past failures, understand current barriers to success, and set self-confidence goals over which to work at a safe and realistic pace. Working on yourself can not only increase your self-confidence, but it can improve your overall mental health.

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Over- and under-confidence

A realistic assessment of their own abilities allows people to find a healthy balance between too little and too much self-confidence. Too little self-confidence can prevent people from taking risks and seizing opportunities – at school, at work or in social life. Too much self-confidence, in turn, can manifest itself as conceit, arrogance, or narcissism. Overestimating your own skills can also lead to problems such as not completing projects on time.

What is the difference between confidence and narcissism?

Narcissism can be caused by insecurity and defense mechanisms, while self-confidence comes from self-awareness and the ability to tolerate and reflect on one’s own weaknesses. Self-confidence strengthens a personal sense of one’s own abilities and competence, while narcissism involves a sense of superiority over others.

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