Contents
Sometimes, having already made a decision, we begin to doubt. Our ardor can be cooled by the words of loved ones, or we can again be captured by the daily routine. How not to stray from the intended path, to stay true to the chosen course? Three useful exercises.
Exercise 1
Create an image of the future
Imagine that you got what you planned, what you aspired to. “Close your eyes and focus on the pictures that will appear in front of you,” advises psychotherapist Margarita Zhamkochyan. – It can be a specific image of what you dream of (a country house or a beautiful office – everyone has their own picture), or a symbolic image if you strive for freedom, independence, peace, happiness. In any case, you can note the light, the color, the space. Ask yourself what you are hearing right now (music, someone talking, silence…), feeling (warmth, lightness, peace…). Try to feel how much time has passed until this moment (a week, a month, years …), to see who is next to you now. Try to remember this moment, and (even if it’s hard to believe), it will guide you through life until … it comes. Our simplest sensations are a good guide. Unlike rational consciousness, they are difficult to deceive, make them disappear or change.
Exercise 2
Formulate the problem positively
“When we say to ourselves “must”, “I must”, we unconsciously expect that we will have to make an effort, overcome resistance, explains Margarita Zhamkochyan. – To avoid this feeling, it is worth trying to change the verbal formulation: “I have to” turn it into a positive “I would like to…”, “I could…”, “I am going to…”.
Try also replacing the conjunction “but” (which also emphasizes resistance) with the conjunction “and” and see the difference. If, instead of “I have to do this, but it won’t be easy,” say “I would like to do this, and I can find opportunities for this,” the realm of the possible will open up in front of you. By changing the way we express our thoughts, we change our approach to circumstances.”
Exercise 3
Hold on to what you like
How many “likes” are there in our lives? How much time per week do I spend doing things I enjoy? “Like” is everything that makes us feel: warmth, joy, satisfaction. But you should not mix “pleasant – unpleasant” and “good (correct) – bad (wrong)”, they are located in different dimensions. What is pleasant is not always right, and what is meaningful is not always pleasant. But feelings do not appear with the help of an effort of will. They are not subject to either reason or pragmatic reasoning. They can be caught for a minute, but immediately depreciate, or you can notice and appreciate. They should be tenderly cherished, and only then will we feel how a warm feeling of life is born in a tired, already almost inanimate soul. It is at this point that we can say, “My life is full, I enjoy my life.”
Comment by Svetlana Krivtsova
“Many psychologists, following the American humanistic psychologist Abraham Maslow, say that the desire for self-realization is a need that is the main driving force of a person. The outstanding psychologist Viktor Frankl sees the way to himself differently: a person is looking for the meaning of each situation and wants to remain himself in this process. We do not change in our essence, we only find greater access to the present in ourselves, becoming authentic. And self-actualization (development of abilities) occurs naturally while we solve meaningful tasks in our lives. There is less selfishness in this position.”